12-20-2024, 03:20 AM
A day later and I honestly feel better about the whole situation than I would've expected. Overall Chronovore was right that I was overthinking too much and read into her signals too much but at the same time I missed some other things. I told the guy that brought her aboard(basically her boss) that I asked her out. He complimented me on my good taste, owning it like a real man and appreciated that I let him know. If anything it has only increased the trust between us.
But he also said some things that made me aware that I didn't realize what a great business opportunity this is for her in general. For me it's just one of our many ventures that I've tried over the years and he's had many succesful businesses but she's moving up from contracting and marketing gigs to actually working with a team and owning part of a shared business. I'm more or less the visionary behind this whole AI thing we're setting up, so he said she tried to make a good impression on me (which worked a bit too well
) and she genuinely thinks I'm a good stand up guy and she enjoys working with me. He also said that although he isn't clear on the details she's still in some kind of broken relationship/situationship right now. He also said that on his part he tried to convince her of my expertise and leading role in this business venture as opposed to convincing her to date me (although he does think the older women tried to hook us up but just because we were hanging out together at the party).
I don't realize I'm a 'boss' more often actually so that tracks. We once had someone working for us that was on some kind of government benefit program and she had to register her schedule in advance to get her benefits. So when I jokingly said on Monday at 9AM: "Well guys, that's it for this week enjoy the weekend!" and everyone clapped and cheered she started crying because she would be in big trouble if they found out she wasn't working that day. Same with the intern that freaked out when he broke his chair and I shrugged and said: "You have a laptop, why don't you sit on the floor?"
I also realized that I should talk/present my current personal situation more if I want to find a girlfriend because as of late people are starting to say that (despite some health issues and parents with severe health/mental issues at this point) my lot in life in general is pretty good and I rarely talk about any of it because I usually don't talk about personal things.
So today I reflected on it and despite having to take my mom to the psych ward the week before Christmas a day after getting rejected my life is still pretty good overall.
Sharing this, some folks told me that I should put some of those perks in a dating profile with some of that Nintex sarcasm and dark humor that (some) people like and some red flags or cons to show I can be critical of myself too.
So I guess the best play is to not focus on just who I am or what I look like because at a glance I'd be another tall 30-something IT nerd with similar interests as the rest of them. But instead paint a picture of what my girlfriends life would be like if she were part of my life and how I would treat her in a relationship. And her life with me they argue would be pretty damn good and she'd probably want to put in some effort to trade in her current life to get the type of life I could offer. Overall they think that what is on offer is very appealing to the type of girl I'm interested in, in the late 20's - early 30's bracket, especially if they're a bit introverted and want to stay close to home most of the time, working a job they think is fun or fulfilling but not necessarily to help make ends meet.
Overall everyone around me has been very supportive even more so than I thought.
One friend also gave me a reality check.
Nintex, you haven't been dating for a long time, in fact you've only ever fucked around in clubs when we were in our 20's and weren't willing to commit to a relationship because you religiously believed in Smash Bros. before hoes. To your credit you never lowered your standards. You ran into this girl that happens to be almost exactly your type by chance barely 4 weeks ago. She called you first, she took up your invitation despite knowing fuck all about you, she enjoyed your company at the Christmas party, she didn't ghost you, you misread the whole fucking thing but still she appreciated your efforts, she thought your attempt was sweet and she still wants to be friendly co-workers despite not yet feeling the same connection. Which to my big fucking surprise means, she didn't outright reject you but actually considered it. And finally you didn't hold it against her or freak out but you respected her decision and she actually told you that made her not just happy but very happy. If you had pulled this off at the first fucking attempt, it wouldn't have been fair for the rest of us. So whatever you do, don't text her "Merry Christmas and see you next year" on your last day in the office tommorow because if she changes her mind, I'm personally going to kill you.
But he also said some things that made me aware that I didn't realize what a great business opportunity this is for her in general. For me it's just one of our many ventures that I've tried over the years and he's had many succesful businesses but she's moving up from contracting and marketing gigs to actually working with a team and owning part of a shared business. I'm more or less the visionary behind this whole AI thing we're setting up, so he said she tried to make a good impression on me (which worked a bit too well
) and she genuinely thinks I'm a good stand up guy and she enjoys working with me. He also said that although he isn't clear on the details she's still in some kind of broken relationship/situationship right now. He also said that on his part he tried to convince her of my expertise and leading role in this business venture as opposed to convincing her to date me (although he does think the older women tried to hook us up but just because we were hanging out together at the party).I don't realize I'm a 'boss' more often actually so that tracks. We once had someone working for us that was on some kind of government benefit program and she had to register her schedule in advance to get her benefits. So when I jokingly said on Monday at 9AM: "Well guys, that's it for this week enjoy the weekend!" and everyone clapped and cheered she started crying because she would be in big trouble if they found out she wasn't working that day. Same with the intern that freaked out when he broke his chair and I shrugged and said: "You have a laptop, why don't you sit on the floor?"
I also realized that I should talk/present my current personal situation more if I want to find a girlfriend because as of late people are starting to say that (despite some health issues and parents with severe health/mental issues at this point) my lot in life in general is pretty good and I rarely talk about any of it because I usually don't talk about personal things.
So today I reflected on it and despite having to take my mom to the psych ward the week before Christmas a day after getting rejected my life is still pretty good overall.
Spoiler: my pretty good life (click to show)
Sharing this, some folks told me that I should put some of those perks in a dating profile with some of that Nintex sarcasm and dark humor that (some) people like and some red flags or cons to show I can be critical of myself too.
So I guess the best play is to not focus on just who I am or what I look like because at a glance I'd be another tall 30-something IT nerd with similar interests as the rest of them. But instead paint a picture of what my girlfriends life would be like if she were part of my life and how I would treat her in a relationship. And her life with me they argue would be pretty damn good and she'd probably want to put in some effort to trade in her current life to get the type of life I could offer. Overall they think that what is on offer is very appealing to the type of girl I'm interested in, in the late 20's - early 30's bracket, especially if they're a bit introverted and want to stay close to home most of the time, working a job they think is fun or fulfilling but not necessarily to help make ends meet.
Overall everyone around me has been very supportive even more so than I thought.
One friend also gave me a reality check.
Nintex, you haven't been dating for a long time, in fact you've only ever fucked around in clubs when we were in our 20's and weren't willing to commit to a relationship because you religiously believed in Smash Bros. before hoes. To your credit you never lowered your standards. You ran into this girl that happens to be almost exactly your type by chance barely 4 weeks ago. She called you first, she took up your invitation despite knowing fuck all about you, she enjoyed your company at the Christmas party, she didn't ghost you, you misread the whole fucking thing but still she appreciated your efforts, she thought your attempt was sweet and she still wants to be friendly co-workers despite not yet feeling the same connection. Which to my big fucking surprise means, she didn't outright reject you but actually considered it. And finally you didn't hold it against her or freak out but you respected her decision and she actually told you that made her not just happy but very happy. If you had pulled this off at the first fucking attempt, it wouldn't have been fair for the rest of us. So whatever you do, don't text her "Merry Christmas and see you next year" on your last day in the office tommorow because if she changes her mind, I'm personally going to kill you.
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