Random Talk

[Nintex]

I totally am and it partially was. We dialed that back. Had a good talk. Essentially we've both been feeding of eachothers fantasies, which is fun in a way but doesn't answer the question if we match. My delirious flu fever didn't help matters in that regard.

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From her perspective I make her feel young again even though I'm nearing 36 and she's 37. She likes talking to me because conversations derail to her Safari's in Kenya instead of income, insurance, racial issues and mortgages. She likes that 90's kid energy and how I cured my flu with beach walks instead of pills, that free spirit and creativity. She really enjoyed that first call and although for me it was just a casual chat for her it was intense. She said she put me on the wrong foot with that but we both had fun so whatever.

But she admits she's unsure if that is what she wants, she never considered someone like me before same as me with her. Travel is a really big thing for her and I'm not into that, the flight to Canada is going to be the big test but I don't feel like spending months of my time in Africa, she also has an endless bucket list of countries she wants to go to. At the same time she doesn't know how realistic it is to pick up new interests. It's a thing she's struggled with overall, between all the travel for work, charities and everything else she's just strapped for time, it's why she never watches any movies. 

Overall I get the sense that this would've worked 5 maybe 10 years ago, when she was less settled in her routines and more open to new things and overall just younger. For my part I could've gotten a feeling for traveling younger at that time and wouldn't be responsible for a business, although she had a good point that I can do a lot of that stuff remote and maybe just start traveling around Europe first. And that's the biggest difference between me and her that I bring those ideas to life and she doesn't or at least not anymore. She genuinely wondered how I can do 10k steps every day when it's really just a matter of going outside. She did hit the gym hard though because she had seen how fit and slim I was and then felt kind of hopeless realizing she couldn't match that, another thing I hadn't considered before. Same with the clothing, I'm sharply dressed even when I WFH it made her a little insecure.  

The dinner is still on for friday because we're still interested enough to meet but certainly more grounded than before yet she's still attracted to her mystery man.

At this point though the romantic connection would have to be really strong to overcome the other barriers for anything else. Overall she's becoming an old woman, she knows this but seems to have accepted it at this point and would rather just continue traveling and not upend her life in a big way within a 3 year window. Our encounter seems to have been the confirmation she needed that all she really needs is an older guy that travels. Or she's going to try and change that, that's up to her but I highly doubt it.

As for me, well because I stopped dating ~10 years ago that's kind of still the mental image I have of women when I see their photos, it doesn't help that they sometimes use older pictures and filters. In that case all I see 25 - 30 year olds ready to take on the world. But I've added black girls to my potential matches, so that's a win.