United States Politics: ∆τ_i*ε*φ*m_i<0 where ε=4 and φ=0.25

[benji]

They raided John Boltons home.

FACT CHECK: Bolton was executed months ago:

Admiral Stephens handed Bolton a copy of the intelligence report. “Did you author this document?”

A bespectacled Bolton glanced at the paper and furrowed his brow. “I most certainly did,” he said proudly.

“Knowing it was fiction?” the Admiral queried.

“What’s fiction today might be reality tomorrow,” Bolton said. “Whatever I did—I did to protect the United States. Trump’s a fool, a simpleton, malleable and easily manipulated by anyone who smiles at him.”

“You’re a practiced manipulator, Mr. Bolton, but he didn’t fall for your attempts to manipulate him,” the Admiral responded.

Bolton smirked. “I never smiled at him.”

“President Trump saw through your transparent scheme. He was always ten moves ahead of you,” the Admiral said. “Did you also remove intelligence reports, that others put on his desk, because you thought he couldn’t understand them?”

Bolton chortled. “Many in his intelligence community did. Not that it mattered, because he doesn’t read. But if he had read them, he would have misunderstood the content, and that could’ve put all in danger. Sometimes we’d swap documents with words he can understand, like ‘see spot run.’ The idiot should never have been a president, and now he is again, how fucked up is that?”