Random Talk

[benji]

They use the ENTJ archetype to write such characters. But I find Hans Gruber and Tommy Shelby more convincing and accurate ones. 

I find this one more so (greg reply because top one won't embed for having a "pornographic" image):

My hand slides under her shirt, tracing the contours of her spine. The slow, deliberate movement ignites her mechanoreceptors, generating a current that speaks safety and pleasure. Microbursts lift the skin into goosebumps. Her hair stands perpendicular, increasing the drag of my fingertips. She asks for more.

My left hand anchors the curve of her waist, pulling her close. My arms establish a perimeter of safety, holding back the world’s chaos.  The warmth soothes and excites.  Her vagus nerve activates, pulling her breath down deep and slow.  For days, we’ve architected this moment in messages. Our imaginations have already lived this. The pent-up energy radiates.

My heart aches with affection for this woman. Her nervous system knows. It is the architecture of her cognition that pulls me in. She is Van Gogh, painting the world with the turbulence of possibility. Light pours in; her mind refracts it into color, shattering the monochrome of the status quo.

My lips brush her cheek; my hands hold the nape of her neck.  The firm pressure asks her prefrontal cortex to stand down. She surrenders. This sacred entrance is earned. A thousand acts of reliability and trust precede. I whisper that she’s been missed, that I’ve longed. Deep within her cells, chromatin relaxes, inviting repair.  Wholeness saturates us.

My lips press against hers; sensual want cascades through our nervous systems. My primitive brain tastes her chemistry, decoding the ancient immunological match.

My hand glides over her abdomen to caress her breast. Her breath pulses, ragged and sharp, as her limbic system overrides the conscious mind. I circle the delicate skin of the areola. My fingertips graze the nipple. The tissue contracts and hardens. A current travels inward, awakening her.  She’s wet, though her body is not yet ready for entry. Nor am I finished tapping out the patterns of affection. 

I slowly trace my hand down her body, mapping the terrain. I stop. It is calculated. Her hips rise, searching for the lost momentum.  She makes a sound—half frustration, half plea.  I’m in awe of the creation before me.

I continue, taking a new route. Brushing close to tease. She wants more but must wait. The tension floods her brain with dopamine; oxytocin must follow. She craves union.

Increased blood flow pulses serum through the vaginal walls, lubricating. Her cervix begins to tent, lifting the uterus in preparation. Too soon, and pain dominates. In concert with the symphony of her body, bliss awaits.

Her vestibular bulbs engorge, forming a soft, pressurized cuff.  Her anatomy has remodeled itself for the dance. We merge. Our brain signals collapse into synchrony, phase-locking. No longer are we distinct neural patterns, but one shared waveform.

Rhythmic motion now resolves as music.  Beads of sweat surface as we sway in concordance. Want washes over us, commanding all. Our egos quiet as the frontal cortex dims; future, past, and death evaporate. Now is all that exists. 

We are transported into the tesseract, floating in and out of each other. Gravitational waves of motion compose a music of rapture. We climb toward the peak, descend again, maintaining perfect tension. Her legs wrap around me, demanding more. Boundaries are erased. Full body release waits in suspended agony, yet we stubbornly refuse to concede there is an end.

We will grow young together.

She ascends. The pelvic floor contracts rhythmically. A tidal wave of oxytocin lands ashore, bonding what logic cannot break. Hunger vanishes as prolactin signals all-consuming satisfaction. The cervix dips; the uterus contracts, drawing in the possibility of new life. 

We lie together, interwoven. Her head rests on my chest as I trace the sheen on her back.  Outside this room, entropy reigns. Inside this room, our union commands repair; decay retreats. Our deep companionship has been earned. We bathe in the quiet certainty that we are one.

They fell from grace because they sought knowledge. We seek knowledge to claw our way back in.

Love making is art and science. It’s a pillar of individual and societal stability.  But things are not looking good out there.

+ fertility rates are down 62%
+ 42% of men over forty now have erectile dysfunction
+ 40% of women report low sexual desire
+ 25% of women are on psychiatric medications
+ female puberty onset has dropped by 3 months per decade since the 1970s
+ testosterone is dropping 1% every year
+ metabolic disease afflicts 35%
+ obesity has hit 40%
+ 63% of men are not having sex weekly
+ sexlessness has doubled to 24%

Porn bears part of the blame.  It’s cursed the modern world. Destroying pair bonding essential to our survival. Porn is nefarious because it separates dopamine release from oxytocin bonding. It trains your brain to prioritize pixelated novelty over deepening the connection of a partner. Over-stimulating and under arousing. And it teaches all the wrong things.

11 things to keep in mind when fostering intimacy.

0. Timing: men are ready to go within 2-5 minutes. Women require 18-20 minutes. Start before the 18 min mark and your partner will experience pain. Women need that time to tent, when the uterus is lifting up and back. Without this, the vaginal canal is 3-4 cm shorter which leads to cervical collision/pain.

1. Touch: the brain classifies the speed of touch, interpreting movements between 1 and 10 centimeters per second as signals of emotion and connection, with an optimal resonance around 3 cm/s. This range activates C-tactile (CT) afferents which are unmyelinated nerve fibers tuned specifically to slow, gentle stroking. When touch moves too quickly, the brain registers sensation but not intimacy. When it is slow and deliberate, it is encoded as closeness, safety, and desire, initiating the cascade of biological processes that prepare the body for sexual connection. The added benefit is that these fibers bypass the primary somatosensory cortex (where you’re touched) and project to the Posterior Insular Cortex, which processes interoception and emotion.

2. Wetness: vagina wetness does not mean that she’s ready. It means that blood plasma is filtering through the vagina walls due to the vasocongestion. This happens before tenting, when the uterus is lifting up and back and extending the vaginal canal by 3-4 cm.  Wetness means that sex-related processes have started but insertion at this stage is too early and will be painful for her.

3. Nipples: areola and nipple play is helpful in foreplay as the same nerves are also wired to the clitoris. So by gently stimulating the nipples, you’re also remotely activating the clitoris, commencing the engorgement process. Some women may enjoy increased tension play but many don’t. Best to start gently and be guided by her preferences.

4. Safety: the brain wants to classify the environment as safe before the body prioritizes sexual arousal. Stress, evaluation, self-consciousness, or performance pressure activate inhibitory pathways that suppress genital blood flow, even if desire is present. The same autonomic system that enables arousal (parasympathetic) is shut down by perceived threat or pressure.

5. Lubrication: a substantial proportion of women prefer or require added lubricant for comfort, even when aroused. Natural lubrication varies widely based on hormones, hydration, stress, medications, cycle phase, and age. Needing lubrication does not mean a lack of attraction, it can be normal physiology. Adequate lubrication reduces friction, micro-tears, inflammation, and pain, all of which directly affect comfort.

6. Rhythm over technique: consistency and predictability allow the nervous system to remain in an embodied, parasympathetic state. Sudden changes in speed or pressure increase cognitive monitoring and sensory vigilance, which can interrupt arousal. Research on sexual excitation–inhibition shows that stable stimulation supports sustained genital response, while erratic input shifts attention back to evaluation. Rhythm builds trust; novelty is best layered onto safety, not used to replace it.

7. Breath: slow, deep breathing activates vagal pathways that down-regulate sympathetic stress and facilitate genital vasocongestion. Studies show that respiratory slowing increases parasympathetic tone, which is essential for female arousal. When her breath deepens, it often reflects internal relaxation, which is necessary for increased pelvic blood flow. Matching  breathing rhythm can nonverbally reinforce safety and connection.

8. Climax: penetration-only orgasms do occur, but they are not the norm. Here are the population estimates: ~15-25% of women are able to orgasm through penetration alone. ~70-85% of women orgasm through clitoral stimulation (direct or indirect). This includes manual, oral, vibratory, or positional stimulation and is the dominant pathway for female orgasm across cultures and age groups. ~5-10% of women orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Functional MRI studies show nipple stimulation activates genital sensory cortex in many women.

9. Presence beats performance: performance focus activates self-monitoring and evaluative circuits, pulling attention out of sensation and into cognition. Sexual arousal is strongest when attention remains interoceptive rather than outcome-driven. Research on spectatoring shows that monitoring “how am I doing” reliably suppresses arousal, especially in women. Responsiveness keeps the body engaged; choreography pulls it offline.

10. Pain is feedback: pain during intimacy most commonly reflects insufficient arousal, muscle guarding, or pacing mismatch, not lack of desire. Clinical research in dyspareunia and vulvovaginal pain shows strong links to autonomic imbalance and pelvic floor tension. Treating pain as feedback improves communication, supports safety and long-term desire.