Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 2)

[benji]

Thank God those examiners kept this mental case off the roads

https://www.resetera.com/threads/getting-my-uk-driving-license-is-destroying-my-life-mental-health.1407949/

Hello OP, I also live in the UK, was 33 when I passed my driving test (last year), which I took at the start of februrary. I also recently moved to a remote town and needing a car was a necessity.

As someone who took 3 (maybe 4?) times to pass my test - and took a (shorter) break between starting to learn and finally passing - let me just say that I can certainly remember being in a similar position in terms of the anxiety building up.

I can sorta relate, though my "being stuck" due to no license/car ended in my late 20's. I also lived in a small town, transportation is minimal, bothering your parents or friends for every car ride became embarassing, and it legitimately sucked to see my peers reach all sorts of impressive results, while I was stuck with no end in sight.

I'm not from the UK but I took my driving test very late, in my mid 30's. I grew up thinking "I'm too dumb to have a drivers license".

I passed my driving test on the 3rd attempt at the age of 41 on Monday.

I passed mine on my 40th birthday after starting taking lessons in my early 30s.

Took me four tests for similar reasons. I just got really nervous on the day and made silly mistakes. I still believe the main reason I passed on my fourth test was because the examiner noticed my nerves instantly and said we'll just sit in the car for a while and chat first. He was really friendly, an amazing conversationalist, and it made a world of difference knowing he was aware of my nerves and actively trying to help me.

it took me four attempts to pass my UK driving test.

It's horrible. I've failed 3 times, and the mental exhaustion, prohibitive costs, and sheer dumbfuckery involved in just trying to book a test has really burned me out. My bank balance and I feel your pain.

I think I failed my bike test twice and my drivers test twice(finally got mine in my late 30s).

I took multiple times to pass my test and then I've never driven again since because I found it so stressful. (Lol)

(...also cars are expensive, which helps too.)

The advice about talking out loud was absolutely helpful for me - not only does it keep the instructor informed, but it helps you think too.

The other thing I would say though is that it's really not that bad getting a minor - it takes 15 minors to fail, so by extension 14 minors is still a pass

I did mine in the UK in 2022 and I was so glad to finally pass.

Took me 5 times to pass my test. Finally passed with the instructor talking about the World Cup as i was the last test of the day, lol.

I'm in a similar position, OP. Last test I took was about 2 years ago now. Was my 3rd test, and whilst driving back to the test centre after a perfect run, the examiner had to brake as I was just about to go through a red. The lights had gone red a second before, but of course that's no excuse.

Haven't had a lesson since and the atrocious booking system, ridiculous costs, and lapsed Theory Test has honestly made me just give up. Feels like a mountain to climb just to start, and it's one of the biggest reasons why I just don't even feel like I'm living life right now.

You have some surface parallels with my own former situation, in the sense of three failed tests and a few years break. In my case, I got the same examiner on each of my first three tests - a mourngy stuffed bitch who (I leaned after the first failure) had also failed just about every single one of my friends. Suffice to say the second and third test, recognising who the examiner was, my heart sank, and the pressure rose.

...

Anyway, seventh time turned out to be the charm

I started taking my lessons at 24, also failed three tests, and it knocked my confidence as to not pick up driving lessons again until last year.
Now I'm also a mid thirties anxious type getting close to another test. So I can relate!

I tell everyone this that I failed seven times until I finally passed. It took me two or three years. At one point I thought of giving up and would never get it done. For me, it took a really good instructor and using each lesson to focus on one weak area at a time to get better and avoid major faults. You just need to get cheese it on the test and pass. Look up all the driving test routes in your area, just youtube or search your area and driving test routes. There are apps, too. Do some deep breathing exercises before lessons and tests. If you're not calm, you will be prone to mistakes. So, focus on that first, then start driving.

OP I relate so hard. I'm 30 and decided this is the year I'm finally going to learn to drive instead of having to rely on lifts or the shit public transport in my town but oh my goddddd the anxiety. The thought of being in control of a 2-tonne death machine. all the RULES to remember. I'm convinced the second I get behind the wheel I'll forget everything and cause a 38-car pileup. It's terrifying and whenever people say they couldn't wait to learn to drive I can't relate at all lol

Are there special failure anxiety exams you can book?

Here in the Netherlands you have those and you get an instructor that is trained in spotting the difference between exam anxiety and driving anxiety, and how to deal with it.

my wife and I both took 3 tries to pass.

Passed my test at 34, what you're feeling is normal, and you'll get there if you keep trying!

Didn't learn until I was in my late 20s.

Always afraid of driving a speeding machine of death as well as having trust that all the other terrible drivers having the chance to just ruin my life cause they don't care about anyone and put them in danger cause of their selfishness.

I'm 43 and have never learned to drive. 1, because I live in London and transport is great, 2, because it costs an insane amount to learn, let alone get a car, and 3, because I have bad anxiety too and don't think I would cope well with the stress of driving (especially in London).

I do feel like it is something I should be able to do though, but I can't see me learning ever, unless I leave London and my anxiety dissipates.

Are there special failure anxiety exams you can book?

Unfortunately, no. We barely have any lessons to begin with; anything more than that doesn't, or might as well not, exist.

Genuinely, I think many countries would be shocked at just how god-awful our system is.

I failed each part of full motorcycle test 3-4 times due to stress/anxiety (I had been driving mopeds on the road with a CBT for years before going for the full license). I passed my car test first time with only a minor for going too slow. I had to mentally frame my car test as that it doesn't matter if I fall I can always take it again and took my time with it.

I'm glad the UK driving test is difficult, and I only wish it wasn't so easy for people to keep taking and failing the test until they get "lucky" and pass (as was suggested earlier in the thread).

Driving is a privilege that too many people treat as a right. The responsibilities it carries are enormous, and the consequences of failing in your responsibilities as a driver are regularly potentially fatal.

It took me three times to pass and my Dad is an instructor.

I was in my 30s when I passed my driving test as well since I moved to a place where driving a car is needed. I get really anxious when driving in a car for some reason. Weird as it sounds, I feel more comfortable and more confident on the road when I drive a bike instead since I've rode far longer than I have driven a car.

Don't worry op, just don't get disheartened and don't give up. I failed my bike test like 6 times and ironically passed in my first go on the car test....weird how that works out when I'm severely stressed behind a wheel but at peace holding handles lol.

To be fair, in the US a driving test consists of proving you didn't crash for 15 minutes or so. As I understand it the UK one is a giant checklist of stuff. I don't think you even have to get all TEN of the multiple choice driving law questions right in Michigan.

My friend failed his third test less than 60 seconds after starting due to terrible nerves, he exited the test car park through the entrance ramp.