Kulturkampf

[benji]

This is something even those in supreme denial have always known. We can’t act shocked by the actions of Team USA, for that would be an insult to our intelligence. We know better than to trust an institution where physical abuse and sexual violence are woven into the fabric of its history. The only folks who deserve that sympathy at this time are the waves of female and queer fans coming in post-Heated Rivalry, who may be discovering for the very first time what hellish nightmare they’ve signed themselves up for.

...

So, while I will never tell someone how to respond to this tide of fascism in the United States (and many other countries) right now, I would hope that we don’t wave the white flag quite yet.

You see, my Offsides co-founder, Arielle Lalande, and I have threatened to quit hockey about once a week for the past two and a half years. It’s never stuck, no matter how serious either of us was, no matter how much whatever news that week stung, no matter how bleak this culture seemed. I don’t fully understand why. It’s one of the reasons I’m pursuing a Master’s Degree right now. I am desperately trying to figure out how these alternative fandom communities sustain when daggers are pointed at them. For how do you love a sport that doesn’t love you back? That wants you dead, even?

The closest I came to leaving hockey was this summer. I was working full-time and commuting six hours round-trip each day; I barely had time to sleep. So when I got into the office one morning and saw the video of Brayden Point and Hayden Fleury laughing at a joke about the Hockey Canada trial, I broke down. Point was a key part of the team that got me into hockey in the first place. I spent hours watching his play, behind the scenes clips, and fan content of him with my dearest friends. We had inside jokes and fond memories from that time. It was something I held sacred, the foundation of my love for this game. While I wasn’t shocked and I didn’t cry at the video, something died inside me that day. I thought with that emotional core gone, I could never find a path forward in this sport. I only stayed because we had a dozen new contributors join Offsides that week, and it didn’t seem fair to them to blow everything up.

With time, I realized that is exactly why we stay in hockey: for each other. For the community. For the people like us who we know are out there and facing the same fears. When I first interviewed female and queer NHL fans for my research, whenever someone provided a sobering and honest account of hockey culture, I asked them what makes them stay in the sport in spite of the harm. The answer was always some version of this. A groupchat. A Discord server. Mutuals on Tumblr, Twitter, and TikTok. Just seeing tweets and articles from people who had the same thoughts and feelings as them.

One of our photographers, Kat Morris, told the Offsides work chat once that “knowing we have [a community], and knowing there are people that want to help, means so much. It’s so easy to get lost in the twitter scare, but every time I come back here, I know I’m not alone.”

I try to keep this in mind when the hockey news cycle gets tough. I imagine a trans kid in ten years who’s been bitten by the same bug I was in 2022, and I think about how I don’t want them to feel as alone as I did. I want this community to sustain, grow, and thrive, so one day, it’s not a complete oddity to love men’s ice hockey and love being queer in tandem.

The same questions cross my mind each time: if I don’t stay, who will? And if no one stays, how does this sport get better?

...

Fascists want us miserable. They want to destroy us in more ways than one, and one of those tactics is taking away all sources of joy from the oppressed. The MAGA movement descends upon this sport like an invasive species of mold, demanding we uproot ourselves and claiming hockey as theirs. Don’t f*cking let them. Don’t let them take away the game you love. Because if we give up, if we all leave, if we forsake what we hold dear, then they have won.

...

Hockey is so much more than a game. It is a political tool, a socially corrupt institution, and, even still, a means to rebel against it all. With the actions of Team USA players inspiring such raw emotions from diverse fans, that last point may seem absurd, but I firmly believe it will hold fast. No community has given me as much hope for the future as female and queer hockey fans have.

Conservatives and Nazis want to ostracize us into non-being right now, and we cannot let them win. Staying strong, holding onto what you love, and fighting for it to be better spits in their faces. Banding together as a chorus of dissent makes their ears bleed. It is a radical assertion that we will not go quietly into the night, that unity is stronger than fear, and that you will pry this sport only from our cold, dead hands.

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