Journal of Other Forum Analysis

[Potato]

I would rather not discuss too many details (it's a long story and thank you to those who are not immediately judging me instead of offering consolation and compassion) of how we got into debt over 7 years of mishap (including going on unpaid leave for 7 months and paying COBRA while moving across the state to take care of my dying father…), except for that yes it's about $200-250k between me and my husband and our student loans and cc/loan debt but about $150-200k is mine, including interest bearing student loans since 2010. I plan to pay it off with my signing/bonuses and data scientist salary (I'm looking for director or manager roles when I graduate because I have 10 years of working/tech managing/supervision experience plus a dual-title PhD (Bioengineering & Data Science and a PhD Certificate in Computational Molecular Biology)…so that is kind of expected to have bonuses). My husband makes double what I make right now and it's been a huge source of frustration for him, despite the fact in 6-12 months things will flip and I will make 2-3x his current income.

I cried all day yesterday.

We cried. He's decided. He said he will always love me and be my friend and soul mate and love unconditionally except that he doesn't and can't love me as a partner anymore. We cried and thanked each other for helping each other grow and survive the worst moments of our lives. He wants to start a new chapter where we enjoy a better relationship where we are not partners in money or marriage. He thinks he can be better for me this way.

I'm devastated. I understand. However it hurts us both so much

He said he will be absolutely gentle and fair and cooperative with the divorce process

And he will make it good for both of us

And we are staying together for 1 more year

And we will not sell the house, at least immediately.

We will do what's best for the investment

Even if that means we own it together for a while

And we can remain best friends, he says

My heart is so broken though

He is supporting me and my PhD

He will die by that principle he said

He said nothing changes until after I get a job, and then even then maybe not immediately

The poor husband

Sounds like the husband got some financial advice to not divorce until NL gets his hands on those sign on bonuses and pays down some debt.