Random Talk

[Potato]

Sounds like bullshit to me, just like all these other crash and fad diets. 

Eat a well rounded diet and exercise.

[Nintex]

32F broke off. She didn't even respond to my final message where I gave her some bio tips on how to find a guy looking for a 'buddy' type relationship and wished her all the best. She just unmatched immediately after not responding for a day to my previous message. Which is kind typical for the way our entire interaction was but the most cold hearted so far. 

I didn't mean any disrespect by highlighting her 'buddy' preference and if casual is not her thing, that's fine too. But I explained to her yesterday that since she's looking for a long term relationship I'm offering a lot that I worked hard for and I'm willing to share that and invest time to see if a relationship between us can work in terms of dates, activities etc. we could start to build something like she wants but it has to work for me too and she also has to put some effort in.

The same thing basically happened with the previous 32F that wanted to 'build something' and delayed a date and kept radio silence. That one though, ended it respectfully.

The other guys can thank me for making them reconsider 'honesty' as their most important value. This is likely the last time I respond to a 5 that could've been a 6 or 7 with some better fashion sense and exercise. With this AI shit I truely have millionaire potential, I wasn't judging a book by its cover but putting in any effort is apparently too much to ask for.

It got me thinking that I should create an AI boyfriend that caters towards these types of women that just want to talk about hobbies, their dog and how was your day and don't want to say anything nice to a guy. Then I can match them again and when it doesn't work out, well for $20 a month I can solve your problem. It's cheaper than Tinder and you won't have to worry about meeting the guy or saying you like him, ever. 

All current AI boyfriends projects are missing the mark by making it sexual from a mens POV and requiring the women to interact first. 

[BIONIC]

[Nintex]

"COO of AI company [...] My phone and balls are always 🔋"

"Looking for a partner (20-36) to build a dream [...] "

"No competition, I lead and do my thing, you do yours"

*like*

39F Feminist
"I like friendly, kind and loving people. Maybe there is still a sweet and caring man on this world left for me. I still want kids but only with the right man. No ONS" 

Well, let's see if she's up for champagne and draining my balls. 36 is the limit unless they are S-tier, I don't make the rules god does.

4 likes already today but 2 were too ugly, 1 was a whale that barely fit into the picture frame. The other an Ottoman woman. I still call them the Ottomans.  

I wonder if I create a 'religious man traditional values' bio if it attracts the bubbly types I want. 

[Potato]

Did you talk about Trump BEFORE the first date again?

[Nintex]

Did you talk about Trump BEFORE the first date again?

Tell that to the ladies.

Most don't really want to date, they want to platonically chat about their animals, interests, boring ass careers, "how was your day" and I try my hardest to drag them away from that.

They just can't get beyond "I like lamp" it's mind boggling. The other way around, asking is also not something they are skilled at. It's never: "Oh I see you are the COO of a company how's business" or "Wow, that's a pretty cool picture of Switzerland any stories to share?", "I love that black shirt, is that your favorite?"

nope, it's always: 
"Do you have any siblings?" 
"I have a brother that moved to Canada"
(surely an interesting tidbit, why did my brother move, do I visit him often, what does he do?)
"ok, I'm going to sleep now bye"
 

It's a numbers game now, Bumble likes are piling up, eventually there is one not ugly, not awful, not crazy and willing to go out that doesn't cancel.
I'm hoping to get one for next weekend but who can say at this point. The increase in matches is nice though because that puts me higher up in the algorithm. I basically chat with all of them still to boost my profile. Currently 3 pending. The feminists like full balls. They also seem to resonate well to "Let me do my thing, you do yours" because there's a sporty one with very few common interests too but she wants to laugh a lot. I hope the Asian finally kicks off her chat tommorow.

With these new 3 that brings the total likes today to 7.

[Potato]

You should definitely go out with one of the maybes first. Get your end away. Practice for the big game.

[Nintex]

Yep all 3 pending ones are certainly dateable. So that has much better odds than 1 suitable match. From the profiles they also seem less shut in. I'll try drinks or dinner after work this time, their towns are closer to my office.

I'm also going to take the wheel of the chat more right from the outset so I don’t waste time putting it back on track. Considering my focus on 'leading' it'll fit with the expectations. Hopefully they start their chats tommorow.

Overall I'm not worried I'll get too nervous because I talk to lots of women and pretty much got the contact info from all of them at the business event. The big question is if I can connect with them romantically at the date rather than at a friend zone level.

I think they'll be surprised though that I'm exactly the same IRL as I am in the chats and profile. Crazy sigma energy with a Tommy Shelby strut, sarcastic and hilarious if you like dark humor.

[who is ted danson?]

you know who will always respond to your messages?

nintendo support

[Nintex]

I'm getting liked by Lara Crofts now and I wonder why that is because I have zero pics about sports. My bio also doesn't mention it, just beach walks. 

But this one has in her bio: lots of sports, lots being outside, too much coffee but not enough conversations.

I guess opposites attract and like me she is not looking for a buddy to go ski and boulder and whatever? Ties into to the "I do my thing, you do yours" line.

Oh and my tinder profile is more ballsy than the bumble.
"Smartest man on this app, Sigma energy"
 
Casual: Rather split the bottle than the bill.
"We'll always have Paris" Casablanca style weekend? Impress me.

And this Lara Croft comes with fantastic ballistics too.

[MMaRsu]

She just unmatched immediately after not responding for a day to my previous message. Which is kind typical for the way our entire interaction was but the most cold hearted so far.

This always happens to me.

Somewhere this week I woke up and had a message sent at 3AM by some 30 year old girl, she said "Hey what a great match!"

So in the morning I sent back something like you're damn right haha. So how's your day going?

And the next time I checked she was just gone

LMAO

Fucking bitches man

[MMaRsu]

I'm getting liked by Lara Crofts now and I wonder why that is because I have zero pics about sports. My bio also doesn't mention it, just beach walks. 

But this one has in her bio: lots of sports, lots being outside, too much coffee but not enough conversations.

I guess opposites attract and like me she is not looking for a buddy to go ski and boulder and whatever? Ties into to the "I do my thing, you do yours" line.

Oh and my tinder profile is more ballsy than the bumble.
"Smartest man on this app, Sigma energy"
 
Casual: Rather split the bottle than the bill.
"We'll always have Paris" Casablanca style weekend? Impress me.

And this Lara Croft comes with fantastic ballistics too.

[Polident]

Lady at cafe I went to a couple times recognized me and knew my order. Can’t go there anymore.

[Nintex]

39F started the chat this morning to confirm the match, Asian expired, B-tier Lara Croft still pending.

3 new Bumble likes, 1 new Tinder like, meh but might chat anyway.

Told S-tier Lara Crofts better looking sister on Tinder this morning I was available at 8PM lets see if she shows up to chat in 1 hour as instructed  

I told my 50 y/o female co-worker about the chats and everything and showed her some things. She was like WTF is wrong with these women, why didn't she ask about Canada

She thinks I'm on the right track by pulling the strings and should in fact be even more controlling and dominant. "They clearly need a man to look after them and set them straight" noted.

And she's an independent type herself, divorced and bi so that’s interesting.

[killamajig]

https://www.psypost.org/physical-attractiveness-far-outweighs-other-traits-in-online-dating-success/

[BIONIC]

https://www.psypost.org/physical-attractiveness-far-outweighs-other-traits-in-online-dating-success/

Damn. Nintex will have to rely on more than just his winning personality then.

[Nintex]

Well it's a Tinder date. She picked Netflix and chill at her place. 37F this thursday. We've moved to whatsapp. Basically the kind of casual date I was looking for: veterinarian, not bad looking mid 7, great attitude, looks very good in a tank top with a decent rack.

Fun flirty chat but also meaningful. She's in the same boat as me. Hasn't had any action for a while, also unsure where to find safe/fun dates these days. Focused on work and her animals, buying a house, some setbacks and wasn't really open to a relationship basically ever. Happy with her life. However even though she understands sex is a part of dating she doesn't like the 'lets fuck' hookups, not open to that until there is a real connection (remember this). She liked me because of my new opener on Tinder: "Smartest man on this app " it got her curious if that was true. Plus she's attracted to me. Overall she started the chat jaded and ended it very excited. A bit sarcastic too like me, we vibed well.

Long term prospects, well we've been open about it. veterinarian is difficult with my astma and she doesn't want kids (or can't have them is probably her issue but I didn't pry). She was impressed that as a guy I had everything planned and figured out by now but asked if I thought she fit into that picture. But then I surprised her because I said it didn't really matter. If a woman likes me and I'm into her, it would be shortsighted of me to turn her down just because she doesn't fit into a particular picture or maybe isn't my type. If the younger girls with tanktops don't respond or keep doing job interviews, well it's their loss and her gain. She loved that. 

The transition to turning it into an actual date was also quite smooth

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

"so in the end I decided to follow my dreams and my cock and that has led to great results"
"wow, I'm impressed you've learned to look after yourself. Not many people learn that or are able to grow like that. Follow your feelings and go for it, I love that. In touch with your feelings"
"Yes, and my feeling tells me, we should date"
"hahaha"
"smooth right"
"omg so smooth.... now I can't argue with that Nintex let's date!!"

All that was left to do, was lock in the sex part. I told her I understood she didn't like 'lets fuck' hookups and I respected that and fucking behind McDonalds wasn't my thing either. But you know I was just a dreamy fish that loves movies like Casablanca and my ways of flirting, compliments, romance and paying attention to detail were out of fashion and out of place on Tinder. I was down to make love to a 37F in a tanktop even if she's a little older than me. Even if we're both not that experienced for our age, the brain is the most erogenous zone and sue me but I love your breasts and admit it I could easily pass for 30. And then well she capitulated. Tanktop, no bra and a trim, maybe a shave if she has the time. Little natural make-up, don't overdo it. "thank you nintex"

Kind of a perfect date to get back on the horse actually. Not looking for anything long term, maybe can't have kids(?), can relate to my situation, shares the same values/attitude, fine looking with great tits but not 9/10 smokeshow. Just a chill night watching a movie with a bottle and a classy woman, slow intimate no-strings love making after so I can take my time, no rush to go home. 10 minute drive so close by.

It's fun to make an appointment to basically fuck someone though, this time I moved it up when she wasn't open this weekend, should've done that last time because it shows I'm serious and into her.
"Friday?" 
"hmm I have a birthday party on Saturday and I'll be late from work but maybe" 
"well with you in that tanktop, I probably won't wake up early"
"hahahaha watch out I'll put you in a coma Nintex "
"ok now you can't keep me waiting that long, how about thursday?"
"that works for me but does it work with your job Nin will you stay over?"
"well I usually start at 10AM and otherwise I'll make it a WFH day"
"thank you  "

Let's hope this one doesn't cancel but we set the time, I have her address, number and everything. Thursday is also quite mundane for me compared to lots of other days next week.
If fucking a 37F mid veterinarian in a tanktop isn't in the cards for me then god must have different plans and I will put that on my profile. 

That being said if this fling somehow turns into something, I wouldn't mind it. If in another life at 36 this was Nintex's wife I wouldn't have done bad at all. As generic white woman she's better looking than most girlfriends of my friends and co-workers and we see eye to eye on many things. If she wants to stay FWBs whilst I keep swiping or do a couple more Netflix and chill dates, also no objection.

Also this being thursday keeps me open for another date on Saturday. 

[BIONIC]

I’m excited about the Nintex losing a kidney to human traffickers arc

[Besticus Maximus]

Problem is you'd need to meet the traffickers for them to get the kidney

[DavidCroquet]

Let's hope this one doesn't cancel but we set the time, I have her address, number and everything.

[Nintex]

Chatting with a Ukrainian for the kidney arc.

She was very arrogant and condescending yesterday. Insisted she hadn't liked me. Doesn't like the Dutch 50/50 mentality. Men should lead and pay. 

Well frankly I agree 100%. She was open for a drink in Amsterdam but not my town and at a time that didn't suit me. Bragging about how she had dated many nationalities by mistake but holding out. Hot tho even at 36.

Long term, house, kids, men provide... the works. Transactional but doesn’t hold any cards.


Today I guessed she lived in Odessa and she worked in tourism. Wow I read people well and was so understanding about Ukraine. 

Hit all her buttons one after the other. Talking about romantic mountain views in Switzerland and nights in Paris. How she would look great in red. How my parents helped Syrian refugees settle and a friend of a co-worker is in a drone squad. Wanted more and more, fully engaged. How few cards does she have? I found out: No job, temporary residency, doesn't speak Dutch. I cancelled the Saturday date it didn't work for me. Her arrogance backfired. "Shit you really are a smart guy..."

On monday we'll talk plans for a new date. She better make it more interesting. I'll happily pay but I want to add this flag to the map and she has no cards. We vibed well when she dropped her armor tho.
 

Things with 37F are going well she's really looking forward to our date. We talk about fun things and flirt a lot. She said she has an idea how to wake me up from my deep sleep. It's funny how easy it is to talk because there is no pressure of a relationship... 

There is also no pressure of sex or not because we both want to fuck and are trying to find out what turns the other on. She also just bought a new bed same as I did.  She hopes it doesn’t creak much but hasn't tested it.

Her attitude is refreshing just like me she's like: "yes, you should totally do that" to any weird, outlandish or daring idea.

Something strange is happening though. Because we talk so openly it could turn into something more. She was drinking too much wine, I picked up Vodka as a hobby during Covid. She quit smoking, I fixed my skin and sobered up. "Wow that's impressive, congrats".
 
There is just 0 judging, negativity, secrets or shit tests. I feel like I've known her for years, when she listed her favorite movies I almost felt stupid asking because I already knew. Both of us hate it when people talk through movies. We both sleep 12 hours easily. We even tried to figure out if we didn't meet before after all and that actually keeps her more busy than me. It's a deja vu or a glitch in the Matrix.

What a relationship between us would look like?
Nothing either of us is losing sleep over.

[Nintex]

Well the date for tommorow with 37F is still on.

We've kept the energy, I would say even more positive than yesterday. There is just so many things we have in common or agree on that I've predicted we won't see eye to eye on anything. She goes hard on my sarcasm not a polite "haha" but :') x10

She told me about her bad cooking skills and I told her I've sacrificed fields of cows to the trash bin. And she's not competitive, just cheerleads whatever I do.

Ukrainian girl is in play too. The vibe has shifted with her chasing me. I'll keep her on hold until after my date that she knows is happening tommorow. She also knows it's a netflix + sex date. Overall her transactional ass is confused why 37F would pick Netflix instead of a romantic dinner. Depending on what happens tommorow I'll try moving her from drinks to dinner + sex. Bottom line is I like how manipulative she is but she met her match. I'll only pick her if she's crazy good in bed as my 'partner in crime'.

More Bumble likes but no chats or anything.
I'm thinking that some women might be farming likes to improve their position in the algorithm.

[Himu]

Put down my dog of 14 years the other day. She had gone deaf, had a massive cancerous tumor growing under, in, around her tail that she constantly nursed aka licked. I was heartbroken the first two or three days. Getting used to her not being there is and was tough. I've never had a dog so long and I never had a relationship like the one I had with her. I found myself filling her water bowl or getting her food at her usual feeding time out of habit. It was like chasing a ghost. What was more striking was the quiet. No tippy taps, no grunting while someone is trying to get comfortable in her bed, no cute snores. Just...quiet. I'm holding a memorial for her today. I'll be burying her leash, collar, toys, and dish bowls. The pain has quickly turned into gratitude. I just smile when I think of her. Saying hi to dogs I meet outside has really helped. I wish I could hug her one last time; she was the goodest of girls.

Taking up sailing lessons and eventually aim to buy a boat. I want to sail along all of the NE major cities and go from port to port on a grand adventure. Maybe one day sail to Greenland or UK. I want to reach Captain. Will be great especially since my Navy career got caught short.

Due to the stress from my dogs final days I bought a pack of cigarettes. Every five years or so I buy a pack but this time I really had to write my findings since I mostly used it for stress relief and creative output. I've been writing stories and I ended up writing 8 stories on that pack alone. I realized that there was something to be said about tobacco. I found myself getting out of knots I made for myself story-wise. The nicotine helped me think so much more astutely so that my ideas were more rounded. I was stuck on one story and ended up finishing/polishing the idea after one cigarette. When I finished the pack I didn't buy another one but I have visited the local cigar lounge. Having the occasional cigar is definitely better than cigarettes. Cigarettes are crude and inelegant in comparison to cigars. I've also bought some tobacco pipe weed and look forward to smoking in that way.

I've taken up rock climbing, salsa dancing lately, and been trying to hit 15k steps a day. Been having a good time in life outdoors and in nature.

Finally, I deleted all of the social media apps from my phone and feel cleansed.

[Nintex]

Rip doggo

[Uncle]

nintex on dating apps:

[DavidCroquet]

If I had a nickel for every time a woman approached me like this on a dating app, I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[Potato]

Dutch chick: Hey wanna hook up? 

Nintex: Have you heard the good word of our Lord and saviour Sir Donald Trump?

Dutch chick: Man, wtf? Do you want your cock sucked or what? 

Nintex: Can I interest you in some $Trump coin? 

Dutch chick: You're weird man. Gotta go, some other dude is here to fuck my brains out. 

Nintex: *logs on to thebire and types furiously.

"Fellas, I think I'm in with this 7. She's probably not up to my standards, but if I play my cards right I might get a date with her in 6 months. This online dating thing is easy when you apply the magic of AI to your profile."

[Nintex]

It's still on with 37F I'm going to her place in about an hour.

I just took a tremendous dump so no risk of destroying her bathroom. If she allows I will post photographic evidence.

[BIONIC]

Please be dead Please be dead Please be dead Please be dead

[Besticus Maximus]

I bought a pizza steel. That shit rules. Crispy business.