Random Talk

[Potato]

It's still on with 37F I'm going to her place in about an hour.

I just took a tremendous dump so no risk of destroying her bathroom. If she allows I will post photographic evidence.

Congrats on becoming a father!

[MMaRsu]

welp

[Nintex]

It was a.... good date. Be it a very 30+ one and spoiler, no sex.

She was better looking IRL, very fit and smart too. And we were comfortable from the start. I sat down next to her on the sofa and one of her cats immediately approved by jumping on my lap. She was a little more timid and introverted than she was on the app, took a little time before she made consistent eye contact. 

We talked, drank some wine, hugged and kissed a little. I touched her leg from time to time, brushed hands.When I left she initiated a big hug. I could tell she appreciated no bad surprises from the stranger she invited. I even looked like the photos. That was a big plus for her. And she liked that I was so easy to talk to. I spend about 3 hours at her place.

Like most Dutch girls she's not one for romance but she was intrigued I was. In some ways we match well, she dislikes busy cities. Also misses the 90's vibe. In other ways we differ. She's saving for a camper van, I'd like romantic city trips. She made a good point that unlike French and Italian girls, Dutch girls don't learn romance and don’t know how to respond so they brush it off. She asked me what type of romantic things I would organize and the lighthouse, romantic beachwalk, dinner combo... well that actually appealed to her. 

We left it at no pressure, we've gotten to know eachother and are going to see how it develops. If she's game for a second date, I'd like to ask her out to a romantic dinner. I could tell she liked standing next to or looking up at me, it made her a little nervous and she blushed because her head ends at my shoulders. The wine is a bit of a thing. She poured a lot into the glass but took only one. No kids seems like a definitive choice too, she mentioned another childless couple in passing. For long term that is something to consider but until I'm exclusive I won't stop dating her because of that unless she calls it off. 

Overall objective achieved, IRL date before the end of March. She wasn't fat, crazy or ugly either.

It also confirmed for me that I'm ready to find a relationship but also that romance is important for me to kickstart anything 'real'.

[Polident]

Congrats but is this lost in translation? Meet in dating app (tinder?). She invites you to her home. She says she’s not romantic. You spend three hours drinking, kissing, hugging. Then you thank her for her hospitality and leave?

[Besticus Maximus]

wrong thread

[Nintex]

Congrats but is this lost in translation? Meet in dating app (tinder?). She invites you to her home. She says she’s not romantic. You spend three hours drinking, kissing, hugging. Then you thank her for her hospitality and leave?

Well there is 'romance' and there is gazing at sunsets and paris hotels. She got roses for valentine from a secret lover but gave them away. Very direct: "If he likes me, he should tell me". 

Overall it was what we agreed. We'd meet and see what would happen. After 15 min I passed "not a creep, liar or find therapy", after 1 hour she noted that we were vibing well and after hour 2 out of the friendzone. Then it got comfy, but also both a bit tired, some heavier topics.

Despite some caveats I like her well enough and there is a physical attraction. How serious, I can't tell. She also struggles with her no-kids clause, knowing it's a dealbreaker for men and her drinking is where I used to be.

This date "grounded, cozy". Next date I'd like to continue where we left it last night. If she's game I am but I'm pretty sure both of us feel more needs to happen faster next time and it'll be up to me to be more bold to set the tone.

She didn't text me this morning to end it and I think she would have if she lost interest after last night.

[Nintex]

Chatting with a 23F on Tinder for funsies.

This energy is so different  

She likes me, I ask good questions like her favorite brands. They really are hyper materialistic.

[Nintex]

37F responded, she thanked me for the good times but will keep it at a single date.

I think I gave off too much nice guy energy and there were concerns regarding her animals and my astma. She also wasn't sure what (if anything) she was looking for.

Wished her all the best. 

We vibe well in the break up even. Told her to buy that camper van she wanted and she'd certainly find what she was looking for. 

23F now the warmest lead.

And surprisingly the redhead too, we had lunch the other day and she works at my office from time to time. We hug now, friendly, but still.

[Nintex]

My date broke off, my PC broke down and my bud has other plans. I hope the new neighbours like Linkin Park.

Biggest red flag tho? She said she broke all her wine glasses and poured wine into soda glasses. I didn't drink nearly as much as she did. But I've yet to meet a 30-something woman that isn't an alcoholic. 

They just seem to compartimentalize and timebox their entire lives into neat little boxes so it doesn’t spill over. Planned alcoholism even.

I live my life more like a movie. It flows, one thing affects the other and plots develop at the same time. They just set an alarm clock when Tinder swiping starts and ends, or a window for club hook ups and when it's ok to be drunk. Guys think they're ghosted but truely the clock just ran out.

Our date was scheduled in her calendar app 8PM - 11PM and didn't last a minute longer.

Maybe I should take a page out of their book so casual doesn’t turn serious and I can make progress faster.

9pm - 10pm tuesdays, drinks with potential serious partners, post nut clarity for dinner invites after (20 - 33)

10pm - 12pm thursdays, bang any horny slut from tinder or bars/clubs, even slightly higher weight classes. Find FWBs to put on rotation. Just flirt, dirty talk, sarcasm, 0 interest in anything they do apart from opening their legs because I'm in the 5% of men women swipe right on (18 - 36)

6pm - 10pm saturdays romantic dinners with potential partners. (20 - 33)

3pm - 5pm sundays, house visits to attractive cat/wine/single moms, could swing both ways (33 - 40)

It would fit the sigma "Patrick Bateman" energy and I would quickly grind more experience but can I get excited enough for what 37F called 'functional dates' without any romance. Our date wasn't planned as such and she admitted that after turning 30 she needed a bottle or 2 for those at times.

The question is what would I regret more, fucking 4 and 5's to learn new moves or fumbling 8/10's because I run out of party tricks, they lose interest and my timeslot runs out. 

I read yesterday that women aren't looking to build but they want to jump off at the end station and that seems to ring true.

I need to let the dog loose because all the women so far don’t block + delete. They keep me around in case they need a nice guy fallback option.

[MMaRsu]

[Nintex]

My PC works again. It's a common Windows update + Nvidia driver issue.

Reboot your PC in recovery mode by unplugging everything and power cycling 3 times then pick a system restore point.

I dunno, I got matches, I got a date. But she expected more. Had I delivered I might've had a sort of FWB. But I was too interested in who she was as a person and wanted to give her the hope she was after as opposed to how I could get her wet. The vibe was like that too sure, but truthfully a manipulating gaslighting sigma like me should've gotten into her panties. Now she got what she wanted from me: my intelligence to figure out the next step for her life for free and a backup in case that fails. Next time they want to move it to whatsapp, I should say no, I keep business and pleasure seperate, only 30 minutes before I meet them will I add their number. For dates at my place or theirs I need a system: 30 minutes small talk max, preferably very flirty > kissing > foreplay > fucking. After that they can poke my brain all they like.

In business it was the same, I was too nice, polite, helpful. I even helped competitors back on their feet or startups to find their bearings. My ideas got stolen and built cheaper by others. But these days I give them the last push into the abyss and make sure startups fail. I even leak to people I'm bidding on contracts that I'm not even interested in, leading other vendors to drop their prices cutting heavily into their margins. Meanwhile our revenues increased 80% YoY. 

I need to be this ruthless in dating, I can think fast and I have the smarts to convince women like I do in business all the time. I never lie, I distract and I persuade.

I just have to train myself to think: "How can I fuck you", then as always my galaxy brain will figure it out. Same as it figured out the profile, openings and chats.

[Besticus Maximus]

You’re overthinking it. Just rock up and see what happens and don’t spend time analysing it.

[BIONIC]

[Potato]

[Nintex]

You’re overthinking it. Just rock up and see what happens and don’t spend time analysing it.

I dunno, I lost the energy in the middle. When I walked up to her house she said: Woah, you really do walk like Tommy Shelby. 

Moved too far into her world of animals because I was genuinely curious and the retarded cat she looked after was just too cute.
But then I was just another gentle animal lover she had seen 10x before. She didn't even like cats as much as dogs but got saddled up with 4 cats because of animal rescue.

Like John Wick she had a picture up of the dog that died, no family photos whatsoever. She was cool as hell that's what threw me off. I expected cute animals and pink and all that. In her tinder pictures she looked kind of like a goofy somewhat chubby vet but IRL she had dark jeans and a tight sweater. Had since picked up Aikido, great bod too. Cute vet was her cover, this was who she truely was or wanted to be. What woman pours wine in soda glasses, one who doesn't give a fuck.

She didn't even bother with presents for co-workers. Would give money when asked so others could buy something. 

She wanted asshole me and got too nice and responsible me. Something she liked is that I stopped caring for my parents as much and took up dating and me shitting on all the types of fake women I see on the apps. Then I hit her with romance, her not realizing that for me that is 'classic romance', Casablanca, Sean Connery James Bond not sappy valentines gifts. 

That's kind of the running theme with all these women I'm interested in, they're tough as nails. The redhead that calls out the jews, the left wing radio chick that wanted to rebel, the black woman that traveled the world and the John Wick vet. And then when I get close, I worry I'm too edgy when that's what interests them in the first place. The vet was racist too, couldn't imagine a white person being attracted to black skin. When I shrugged she smiled, that should've been the fucking hint. 

You know what the redhead asked over lunch, if I had fucked anyone over in business this week. She likes it when I screw over the corpos.

[killamajig]

Why does Tommy Shelby walk like he’s always carrying a load of imaginary shopping bags?
https://www.reddit.com/r/PeakyBlinders/comments/7jqpqq/why_does_tommy_shelby_walk_like_hes_always/

Hmmm, I thought it was Nintex slow motion walking.

Nintex in HS

[Nintex]

I have a fast strut with long steps, more Bateman than Shelby but Shelby is better known these days.

People laugh about it and then I take them on a walk through the city and they can't keep up. They're like ok ok I get it slow down. Fatties can't jog as fast as I can walk.

I beat Google maps walking distances by about 50%.

[MMaRsu]

Its not a competition to walk somewhwre fast

[MMaRsu]

My PC works again. It's a common Windows update + Nvidia driver issue.

Reboot your PC in recovery mode by unplugging everything and power cycling 3 times then pick a system restore point.

 a manipulating gaslighting sigma like me

Are you sure thats you?

Im also wayy foo.much lf.a.nice.guy and a pussy. I get it

[Polident]

[Polident]

Just saw an American guy with a MAGA hat and his Chinese wife wearing a keffiyeh. Never give up, Nintex. Love wins.

[Nintex]

Just saw an American guy with a MAGA hat and his Chinese wife wearing a keffiyeh. Never give up, Nintex. Love wins.

Thanks

Later this week I'm going to try one last time to see if I can convince her on a second date.
The issue is either
A) She wasn't that into me or astma + animals is a dealbreaker for her (perfectly possible)
B) My intentions weren't clear and at 37 she won't waste time fooling around

I can't fix A but I can fix B. If I make it clear I'm in for the long haul and what our life would look like, she might prefer that to staying alone.
If someone put a gun to my head and said Nintex you can have this woman but no kids or you can have a mid 6 with kids, I'd pick her.

Strongest connection I've felt to a total stranger in 20-something years. I want her to know that if she feels the same way there is another life path we can take since we're both at a crossroads. If she feels nothing for me, it is what it is and it wasn't meant to be.

Then her path is touring the world solo or going back to drunk functional dating. 
My path will lead me to kill the boy and let the Kwisatz Haderach be born. 
Easy path too, I already got liked by 2 chubby 30Fs on Bumble this morning to grind experience.

My new bed will arrive wednesday, then I will text her and my new path will be decided or should I let her go and just pick the easy path?

[Nintex]

Co-worker said I should tell her because I have nothing to lose if I'm certain.

If I'm willing to give up kids and explain why and it's still not enough, she just has no feelings for me.

This just seems so perfect a local girl that dislikes big cities with the same values and nostalgia as I do. Not many left around these parts. 

Are you sure thats you?

Im also wayy foo.much lf.a.nice.guy and a pussy. I get it

But on the flip side I can't ignore she just cold turkey pulled the plug. Who says she won't do that again. She's kind of an ice queen too. Not to mention the animals, my astma is dormant but who says it won't get triggered. And that wine to loosen up, I wasn't the first she tried that on and she drank a lot.

Maybe this is the sign I should give up on the melancholic romance and let the past die. She and I met based on the idea that we missed eachother all these years but in reality we probably did meet at that club and just weren't interested. I knew her brother and he was a prick. Better looking than her pictures, with dimmed lights and make-up. Don't chase a nostalgic 90's dream with a vet, add "astma max 1 cat" to the bio instead or find a girl that's also allergic to animals or has astma. 99% chance she's slim too. I basically told her this, buy that van and tour, you'll find your guy.

None of these have worked out for me, ever.

Not the English milf in high school, the church girl, my georgian muse, the dancer, the redhead, the black girl etc. . 

The hospital girl liked me, walked me to my car, there was no story, she just liked smart and tall guys. In Germany my classmates liked me, I bought them booze and got the DJ to change the records. Look for signs, glances, hair twirling not stories. Fuck the 5's and 6's from Bumble, long term they already know they're signing up to be your personal prostitute anyway.

[BIONIC]

[Potato]

Dude, you need to widen the net and stop thinking every date is going to end up in happily ever after. You're sounding like a 15 year old girl. Just get your dick wet first and then reassess.

[who is ted danson?]

imagine if you had already shit your pants in front of her nintex

would you really hold back like this?

tell her you love her

[Polident]

Dude, you need to widen the net and stop thinking every date is going to end up in happily ever after. You're sounding like a 15 year old girl. Just get your dick wet first and then reassess.

I do sort of believe in real connections and love and all that corny shit. But also there’s the old idea of “don’t buy the first house you see”. Sometimes people can fixate on the one option and ignore all others. You don’t know what’s real if you don’t know what’s not. Again, bad dates can be learning experiences to know what you want or don’t want.

[Besticus Maximus]

Nobody is going to sell you the house if just being inside the house makes you look like you've never actually seen a real house before 

[Nintex]

Well an old dog gave me advice

"like it or not is my motto if you have to convince I have my doubts"

He also said that if kids are no deal breaker I might as well find a 25 y/o that doesn't want kids and has trouble finding a guy because of that.

Maybe best to keep her in the pool and reconnect later.

After all she didn't say it was the worst date ever and she hated me. Just that she didn't think she was interested in a 2nd. And she appreciated my advice to go buy a van and tour.

[Himu]

Dude, you need to widen the net and stop thinking every date is going to end up in happily ever after. You're sounding like a 15 year old girl. Just get your dick wet first and then reassess.

I do sort of believe in real connections and love and all that corny shit. But also there’s the old idea of “don’t buy the first house you see”. Sometimes people can fixate on the one option and ignore all others. You don’t know what’s real if you don’t know what’s not. Again, bad dates can be learning experiences to know what you want or don’t want.

Get options. Date multiple women. Choose the best woman from that pool you're dating. Dating multiple women will stop you from having one-itis (the phenomenon that this one woman is The One). Don't date women with tattoos - they're whores. Ask if she has any debt. Women are a minefield so treat it like taking job applicants and seeking the best candidate.