United States Politics: ∆τ_i*ε*φ*m_i<0 where ε=4 and φ=0.25

[Alpacx]

So great for business.

[HaughtyFrank]

So in 90 days this whole shit show repeats?

[dontasemebr0]

[HaughtyFrank]

[Nintex]

Is this the white house now

[Ribosome]

Is this a declare victory and move on thing?

[HeavenIsAPlaceOnEarth]

DO NOT RETALIATE.

[HaughtyFrank]

Now he wants to talk about the markets again

[Potato]

Is this the white house now

If this is how Americans like to be represented by their government, by all means continue.

I'd be taking a big steaming shit on the doorstep of The Lodge.

Fucking embarrassing.

[Ribosome]

People were getting pretty jittery. 

We were probably a few days of bitching about the declining stock market from 60 year old CatTurds snapping and screaming Fuck Your 401k at people.

[Polident]

If this is how Americans like to be represented by their government, by all means continue.

I'd be taking a big steaming shit on the doorstep of The Lodge.

Fucking embarrassing.

Yes. We’re at are aging men saying “Kamala is brat” and Tim Wanz saying “voting is bussin fr fr no cap”. Or some 20-year-old retard treating it like an Xbox live lobby. Soon we’ll get more videos of Yemen bombed with “gg no re”.

After the peak embarrassment of “Pokémon Go to the Polls”, you’d think we’d all move away from this messaging.

[who is ted danson?]

25% swing trade every 90 days for the rest of his term (forever)

free money

unlimited gains

greatest economy ever

art of the deal

[who is ted danson?]

s&p500 to 7,000

[Nintex]

I'm at only -1% on my portfolio 
Oil is cheap, inflation down

How did he do this 

[Nintex]

Lmao

[Nintex]

We made 20% on Nvidia

Arigato Donarudo sama

[benji]

So great for business.

Or is it 25% + 10% of that 25% so 27.5%?

But considering how they set all the countries tariffs there's also a possibly that they entered a formula that makes it 2.5%.

[HaughtyFrank]

Or is it 25% + 10% of that 25% so 27.5%?

But considering how they set all the countries tariffs there's also a possibly that they entered a formula that makes it 2.5%.

One thing I've learnt today is that I'm not sure if people know how percentages work anyway

[DavidCroquet]

Or is it 25% + 10% of that 25% so 27.5%?

But considering how they set all the countries tariffs there's also a possibly that they entered a formula that makes it 2.5%.

One thing I've learnt today is that I'm not sure if people know how percentages work anyway

"but I did eat breakfast this morning!"

[benji]

I'm not surprised by that, lots of people think percentages are percentage points and vice versa, and also lots of people don't understand the concept of time. You need to phrase it so it's clear you're talking about two different situations.

1. 100 goes down 10% so you have 90.
2. 90 goes up 10% so you have 99.
3. 99 < 100 so you're worse off than you started.

They're picturing it as a single linear equation: 100 - 10 + 10.

[Potato]

If this is how Americans like to be represented by their government, by all means continue.

I'd be taking a big steaming shit on the doorstep of The Lodge.

Fucking embarrassing.

Yes. We’re at are aging men saying “Kamala is brat” and Tim Wanz saying “voting is bussin fr fr no cap”. Or some 20-year-old retard treating it like an Xbox live lobby. Soon we’ll get more videos of Yemen bombed with “gg no re”.

After the peak embarrassment of “Pokémon Go to the Polls”, you’d think we’d all move away from this messaging.

Yes?

[benji]

[Nintex]

I'm not surprised by that, lots of people think percentages are percentage points and vice versa, and also lots of people don't understand the concept of time. You need to phrase it so it's clear you're talking about two different situations.

1. 100 goes down 10% so you have 90.
2. 90 goes up 10% so you have 99.
3. 99 < 100 so you're worse off than you started.

They're picturing it as a single linear equation: 100 - 10 + 10.

Let me solve those using Trump math

1. a lot
2. a tremendous amount
3. billions and billions of dollars

[Nintex]

Imagine the boston Tea party but it was Trump.

tariffs on the tea - no tariffs on tea - that guy made $100 selling the tea and you didn't even thank us - England having no clue whatever happened to their tea

Confusing letters send from the United States to England. War declared, war undeclared.
The decleration of independence. Rumored, talked about, discussed, INDEPENCE WEEK celebrated.  

The thing actually written

No. 

Trump fired Dirty Ben. We're invading France next week. The late great General Custer. 

[Polident]

Forgive me, Nintex. I’m a panican.

[Propagandhim]

Imagine the boston Tea party but it was Trump.

tariffs on the tea - no tariffs on tea - that guy made $100 selling the tea and you didn't even thank us - England having no clue whatever happened to their tea

Confusing letters send from the United States to England. War declared, war undeclared.
The decleration of independence. Rumored, talked about, discussed, INDEPENCE WEEK celebrated.  

The thing actually written

No. 

Trump fired Dirty Ben. We're invading France next week. The late great General Custer. 

edit: nvm you said it better

[benji]

[Himu]

Honestly after this week.

Growth is admitting when you don't know anything. I don't know shit about politics and won't be discussing it going forward. Best to just observe and make decisions privately.

[Nintex]

Well Bill Mahers mind is blown, he was more comfortable talking with Trump than Clinton or Obama.

Trump responded with grace and no anger, Maher revealed. “Just a little smile as if to say, ‘Yeah, I get it.’”

For the fans

Bill Maher walked into the hallway of The White House. tired, deflated and nervous.
"Look who the cat dragged in!", JD Vance yelled from his office. "Don't smoke weed in here Bill! We'll have you send to Gitmo!"

Trump gracefully shook Bills hand. "Thank you for coming Bill, let me show you something to cheer you up. Don't mind the children."

"Are you going to execute me?", Bill asked with his signature depressed voice.

Trump smiled: "Maybe... but no I want you to understand something before I pull the trigger."

The President unveiled a secret passage in the Oval Office and Bill followed him downstairs.
"Is this your rape dungeon? Do you torture the Democrats here? Where is the consent form.", Bill quipped.
As Trump turned on the lights Bill gasped. He could tell that Trump had collected virtually every object of power in the world or maybe they were replicas.

"Those are good fakes", Bill said smiling.

Trump took on a serious tone: "That's the stuff they stole Bill, the files of Tesla, my time machine, the Orb, the Chaos Emeralds, the Ark of the Whatever."

"So you have all these magical boxes, why, is it how you control us, how you win elections, stay alive?", Bill asked.

"No Bill, Obama used the Chaos Emeralds to get elected but that also created ISIS. Ronald Reagan defeated the USSR with the Ark but also lost his mind using it. Tesla used his time machine once..."

"What happened when he did, I thought he was a bum", Bill jokingly asked.

"We got shitty electric vehicles with his name on it and computers that can think Bill", Trump smiled.

"Hahahaha... right", Bill gazed nervously at the President. Maybe he was right and these things were actually real. They certainly looked real. Bill stared at Pandora's Box, wondering if he should open it and for a fleeting moment he glared at Thors Hammer, perhaps if he was quick enough he could strike down Trump but he couldn't stop but wonder why he hated the man so much. Trump meanwhile looked different, determined and dead serious. Bill had never seen the President like this.

"So what do we do Mr. President? Can you cure cancer, end all wars, deport The Village people?", Bill wondered what the President had in mind as he sighed.

"Nothing Bill, nothing. Throughout history when men drunk with power use these things terrible things happen. Unspeakable things. So I collect them and keep them safe. I'm not perfect but I've seen Indiana Jones. All of them actually. The last one wasn't that bad, maybe a bit over the top with the woman. Don't tell JD I said that.", Trump said with a serious tone.

Bill was left flustered, was the President joking or did the scenes of melting faces truely stop him from changing destiny. Did Donald Trumps idiocy save humankind from disaster?

"You know that Indiana Jones is a movie right, it's not real", Bill said as he recalled Trump believed Christian Bale to be the real Bruce Wayne.

"Yes, but aren't we all in a movie Bill, following a script that we try to write but can't really control. Who says that your face won't melt if you use the Ark. Go ahead open it.", Trump said with his signature loud voice that could command any room or nation.

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

Bill stared at the Ark and put his hand on the lid. Surely this magical box contained nothing but dust. He shivered as he slowly lifted the cover "See haha religion is just a bunch of superstitious nonsense" he fell back as smoke and hot liquid emerged from the box accompanied by sounds that could only be described as the screams of dead souls. "What have I done? Is my face melting?" Bill panicked but as the smoke cleared he could see there was something inside.

"A copy of the Art of the Deal?!"

Trump laughed: "It's all fake Bill but it's a great story right."

"Goddammit you had me you motherfucker."

[Ribosome]

She seems behind. All the MAGA "this is for Main Street" national struggle and crypto-leftist talk about money not mattering and the stock market disappeared after the tariff U-turn.