Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 2)

[filler]

loco is making shit up 

[Boredfrom]

He is such a dumbass, that I bet you he is fucking mistaken and he misunderstood some family member voting on a local election for a federal one. Didn’t he said something stupid like “not all citizens are forced to pay taxes” or something? 

And again, B-Dubs, the dude that has panic attacks because he believes the federal government will close the forum for inciting violence, is okay with a dude saying “yeah, my family commits voter fraud”  .

[Hap Shaughnessy]

Member only:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/should-we-pay-more-attention-to-the-avn-adult-video-news-awards.1429204/

So I came across this clip of Kira Noir accepting an award for best girl / girl scene.



And my initial response to seeing porn get the same glitz and glammor and speeches as say the Oscars was involuntary laughter. Which wasn't meant to condescend, but the juxtaposition is what caught me off guard, tho I still apologize.

That said, as someone that's gradually taking a more academic / analytic appreciation to porn and find some discussions to be healthier than the way we talk about movies and video games in some circles, I do think it's odd that we don't partake more openly.

I get that people don't want to be so open about their porn interests, but a lot of people indulge, we know names, the talent is putting in work and they do deserve recognition. And you can put people on to good stuff. And certain conversations can lead to better things getting push. Why is incest becoming so common? Are you better off going independent? Highlighting porn that does a better job of featuring verbal consent.

Or maybe I've just been watching that guy in the robe talk about porn on Instagram too much. It started as an ironic thing, but ... the points and discussion just got too good.

[Polident]

Has anybody who describes themselves as an empath ever shown empathy.

[filler]

Has anybody who describes themselves as an empath ever shown empathy.

it only works when it's someone they agree with 

[Uncle]

Has anybody who describes themselves as an empath ever shown empathy.

if you do this, you demonstrate to everyone your lack of awareness as to how everyone else immediately feels when they hear someone call themselves an empath



it's sort of like saying "I'm the humblest person in the world!" 

[Kazuma_Kiryu]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/japans-ultraconservative-pm-sanae-takaichi-set-for-a-big-election-victory.1429099/

I'm not conservative, but I find it funny that almost everyone in this thread is groaning about Japan being so conservative. I think voting for lefties wouldn't improve anything.

Japan already has some of the decent stuff the left supports, like a good public transport system, universal health care, gun control, a great education system, decent labor laws, legal abortion and I'm sure there's other stuff I'm forgetting. Their economy isn't great but the lefty position of giving everyone money would just increase inflation. Gay and lesbian rights could be a little better, but they're no way near what the US was before the 2000s. Also women in Japan have more rights than women in most Muslim countries.

Electing lefties would just lead to a flood of immigrants, which would lead to identity politics which would create more conflict in the country.

[HaughtyFrank]

It annoys me that the NBC article calls her ultra conservative and yet doesn't mention what ultra conservative policies she has. RE then proceeds to call her neo fascist, again without explanation. Surely that has to be about more than just immigration?

[filler]

she's ugly like a ultra conservative bitch tbh 

democrats have a different type of ugly 

[Snoopy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/anyone-else-been-disowned-discarded-by-their-family-for-failing-at-life.1429207/

I don't usually have them but this morning I had a dream about my cousin and in it we were still friends,  a closeness which in reality has not existed anytime recently. Naturally when I woke up, I felt really uneasy.

Growing up and through the decades even we were so close but I haven't seen her in like 5 years and I haven't talked to her in over 14 months. I'll probably never know why she stopped caring about me, what I did to be discarded like a total stranger and I don't think it will ever not hurt. I mean I -do- understand on a psychological level yet still it baffles my dumb empath ass almost daily to the point that I actually wish there was something tangible I did that caused it because then I could at least understand. It would make sense, there would be closure. To add insult to injury she was always the only person in the family to have my back.

Hearing about other peoples families, man... I want to tell them I would give anything for that. Even just one single family member, one ounce of support. I don't because I don't want to make anyone else feel bad but when I explain my situation and familial relationships, they all say the same thing. " that is so fucked up, how could your FAMILY do that to you? What did you do?"

I don't have an answer for them, because my family doesn't have an answer for me.

My mother's response when I ask her variations of the following questions -  "what have I done?" "What have I done to make you hate me?" -  is always the same: "Nothing Matt. You've done nothing."

Okay, rando on the internet... Surely there IS something you did. Something you've omitted!

Nope. I'm kind, polite, giving. I'm not a criminal.  I had great relationships with that chunk of my family until my abusive ex cut me off from everyone for 5 years and I wasn't able to provide or take car of myself. I haven't stolen money to buy drugs or whatever like you would imagine it's like for most "tough love" scenarios. Hell, until now I've never talked shit or even had a negative thought about my cousin. Before all this she could have come to me in my situation and I would have said, no, fuck that, I have (at the time) a spareroom (she has two). Ill get you out here and make sure you're okay. They will just not lift a single finger....it's like it's rooted in resentment.

Recently in a thread someone mentioned the concept of "failure to launch," for the first time. But a few years ago  I coined the term "merit based love family" to describe the exact phenomenon, which, I've just learned is wholly cultural. And my family was certainly raised with this mentality and certainly applied it to me.

Bear in mind I have CPTSD diagnosed by multiple doctors covering multiple extended traumas. since 2021 I've been disabled and have spent the majority of the last 3 years in the backseat of car. My cousin meanwhile, is a officially a doctor, having finished her residency some time last year, now making a doctors salary in a practice somewhere in South Texas. No student loans, no car payment, no mortgage. School and house paid off by dad in advance. Her fiance, is in the financial sector and along with the rest of that side of the family  (my mom, who, by most global and domestic metrics is also rich, excluded) are actual multi- millionaires. Her dad is one of the most renowned doctors in the county where we grew up. A heart surgeon. Her stepdad is a banker. all these people have multiple properties, timeshares, super fancy boats, etc..my cousin, at 39, still got an allowed of  $3k a month from her dad, but I don't know it's still the case at 40 now that she is working. And of course she has plenty of time for Facebook and Instagram. Weekly she posts pics of her eating hundreds of dollars of sushi at Uber fancy Japanese restaurants. And yet the way she last told it when I asked her 8 months ago asking for money to eat, when shaming me in return from bothering her....she is poor, worse off than me. It's maximum guilt trips and gas lights.


Anyway, after the dream I reached out to her.. it was only the second time in a year and a half and I don't know why because I don't ever expect her to have a sudden change of heart or actually talk about the issue or be anything but annoyed. And to be honest I feel guilty about it knowing med school and residency are really really rough, but our ambiguous divorce is on my mind almost every day, and I don't know how many more years would pass if I waited for her to reach out to me.

The fucked up thing is that it's not even about the money. I have been in situations where I've had to do really depressing up stuff for money, and it takes on a new aura when you don't have any for so long. But on God, If I had to choose between money and love, I would choose love every time. I would trade what little I had left for a loving mother, even if we were beggars together on the street.

But there is no love. No compassion. Just "get a job" and deal with your issues yourself.

Thats all, that's the end of my thought.

TL;DR : My entire family are heartless narcissists, and it really sucks to not have anyone

Ree - I am the purest, most goodest person who has never done anything wrong. 

Also ree - I can't that believe that fucking bitch studied hard, became a doctor and then refused to give me a handout. 

Ree - Seriously guys. Be kind. Polite. Always choose love. Family is more important than money. 

Also ree - I asked for money and the selfish bastards told me to get a job!!! Unbelievable. Meanwhile that lazy cunt cousin of mine is out there studying to become a doctor and getting free handouts from her dad!!! WTF is that? Fuck these people. Seriously. Fuck them to the moon. There's no justice in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Straight Edge]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/ign-i’m-already-tired-of-‘nintendo-switch-2-editions’-and-even-new-mario-wonder-content-can’t-change-that.1428829/

Nintenyearolds defending $80 ports of switch 1 games like their lives depended on it.

[Cheststrongwell]

If I'm reading that word vomit correctly, dude cut himself off from his family for 5 years, then showed up begging for money? I guarantee his family tried to connect with him during that time and finally just gave up. Stop being a jealous little bitch and do something with your life. World's Victim mentality.

Even Era is ignoring him. :(

"Am I shadow-banned, or am I that cringe or crazy that no one replies to my threads, or are we really that averse to thinking about this stuff? Because frankly that's how we got to where we are now - keeping tomorrow out of sight and out of mind."

[Lonewulfeus]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/xboxera-rebrand-to-dayone.1429177/page-4#post-151048720

No offense, but this is straight up untrue. There was no 'resentment' behind why we exist. It was founded in 2019, and there was a podcast thread here, on this forum.

I was never banned here (outside of a weird moment where I was given a break for sharing the link to the Card Game Kickstarter in the Kickstarter thread) and I am the owner of the company.

Do I think this forum is not particularly great place to chat about Xbox if you're a fan of the platform sometimes?

Yes. But it's merely reflective of the wider market.

Did I take advantage of the moment when people were loudly asking for a new forum? Also yes. Did the admin here kinda threaten legal action because of the XboxEra forum even existing? Also yes.

You presume a lot based on conjecture and hearsay. But don't go off spouting the work of the last 6+ years largely exists because of 'resentment'. It exists because of a love for video games. And no, the occasional hard to obtain Xbox review code is not a primary driver, good lord.

Wonder which admin threatened legal action and what grounds they think they had to sue.  Pretty ironic considering the way resetera started out though.

[JoeBoy101]

We literally just banned an American in this thread for pulling some bullshit...

Hi 👋 I'm back from my 1 week ban. Since I was the only person banned in this thread, I'll assume that you are referring to me as the "American". Just to clarify, I'm Canadian, and I would appreciate if you could refrain from spreading any type of information about my nationality, correct or incorrect, without my consent - thanks.

Just wanted to clarify that my post:

Every single thread for Europeans and Canadians has some American saying "I'm just a bystander and not the bully". In first grade of school they teach you that bystanders are just as guilty as bullies. Dismissive attitude towards an issue as serious as splitting up a country seems incredibly inappropriate.

Was in agreement with both Dashful and thecowboypoet, and not intended to antagonize. I'm sorry if that was unclear and either of you were offended by my use of quotes.

Within a minute

I wasn't even talking about you. Other people did get banned.

And don't bump old threads just to complain about your ban.

And locked 



https://www.resetera.com/threads/trump-admin-officials-have-reportedly-held-several-secret-meetings-with-far-right-canadian-separatists-who-want-to-break-free-from-the-rest-of-country.1419718/page-4#post-151033504


Edit: got banned for misrepresenting moderation

All of these Canada vs. US threads and users are amusing just for the chickens finally home and roosting.

PoC apparently are the only individual groups where there are no representatives, aside from Queen Neppy of course, but all Americans? Whites? Liberals? Every Joe Dirt and Jane TradWife are the epitome of everything Caucasian and American. But stereotyping and generalizations are bad, m’kay?

The only deviation from the generalization formula Dumbs has allowed was on the Israeli/Zionist issue, and even then, they barely followed it, turning Zionist into a dog whistle.

Then you got CanadaERA, ecstatic in being able to righteously, in their minds, cast aspersions towards USAERA, and then raging that moderation is happening.

AmericaERA is livid that the Canucks are using their own tactics against them and suddenly finding themselves on the other side of the generalization gun, and now its suddenly not so easy and straightforward. “B-but I’m one of the good ones!?” “Fawk off, Nazi!” Raging hypocrites.

An absolutely glorious clusterfuck shoot they have all worked themselves into from the top on down. See Dumbs, this is why you enforce rules evenly and fairly. Because you may never know when your ass will need to use them.

[BIONIC]

Constructive:

This site as a whole would be so much better if before hitting post people would think about whether their post actually contributes to a better discussion and feeling of community or if it's just negativity for negativitys sake.
(This goes for me too btw, I can be just as guilty of it as anyone else).

It doesn't help that plenty off people, in this very thread even, think that being morally pure means you get to be an asshole to "drive out bad takes"

I think there's a difference between "I don't like a thing, and here's why.." with an actual detailed explanation and "this is ugly", "this is slop", "who asked for this?".

The first one is engaging with the topic and having a differing opinion, which is okay! Constructive criticism should never be shouted down and is always helpful.

The other three are just low effort post padding via drive by. Especially when it's the same post over and over again in every thread about said topic. Some people basically become a predictable metronome no different than pulling on Woody's string to have him repeat the same catchphrases over and over.

The exception being calling out racism, sexism, transphobia, etc of course! That should always be welcome as well. People don't know what they don't know and even if everyone in that said thread knows, a lot of these threads get countless lurkers, so calling that shit out should always be high priority.

There's a reason why some Era threads calling out bullshit are too 10 in web SEO when you search for that topic, and that's a good thing.

I’m amazed this obnoxious cunt managed to go a whole post without mentioning the whitewashing of the Romani heritage of Scarlet Witch

[HaughtyFrank]

Must have had a revelation mid post that she does this herself all the time

[Hap Shaughnessy]

Member only:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/an-ideal-civilization-has-few-arms-and-plenty-of-hands.1429225/

This is just a notion I've been turning over in my head for over a decade and a half now. Obviously the advent of social media and its ability to allow people to isolate with other like-minded people and away from any dissenting voices is a massive, if not primary, contributor to the state of things. But for a long time I've been thinking that another problem is the overswinging of the pendulum regarding violence.

There has been a concerted effort in media to preach that violence is never the answer. That you should always resolve things peacefully. That acting with violence first is always bad and responding with violence is usually bad.

But the thing is? I don't think as many people would have gone as far off the deep end as they have if when they got their reality check it was in the mouth and at the end of a fist.

"But bad people would react violently." Bad people already deploy violence to get their way. They also deploy nonviolence to get their way. Bad people don't care about what's right or wrong. People who want to abuse and harm others will do so regardless and do do so regardless. Case in point: That grown ass man in TX who attacked children.

But in over teaching that violence is never the answer, we live in a world where the risk of harm that comes with calling someone a slur in front of them, their family and their friends is close to 0. So people get comfortable using slurs, instead of self-censoring in the off chance they might catch an ass whooping. This effects behavior in general.

And that's on the micro level. On the macro level we've created a society wherein bad actors can inflict whatever and however much harm as they want, but responding in any way that isn't calmly and politely registering displeasure is weaponized against the victimized. Not even just responding with actual violence. Any response can be deemed to violent.

And it's not like I'm talking about encouraging people to go off half-cocked at any slight. I just mean to say that decorum is only maintained equitably if the other guy might put your lights out for breaking it. And the lack of threat from people who want to do good has made for some boldly awful people.

Of course, it doesn't help, in the US at least, that someone might AK you tomorrow if you KO them today.

 

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/should-we-pay-more-attention-to-the-avn-adult-video-news-awards.1429204/#post-151042867

I do not think visual pornography for women really exists mostly because women very rarely buy visual pornography, pretty much every male performer has a near exclusive audience of gay men purchasers. I do not think women actually enjoy watching footage of sex enough to regularly purchase it like men do.

I can say I myself would not purchase pornography whatsoever, I can just have sex with one of the like 1500 matches I get on a dating app lol

https://www.resetera.com/threads/should-we-pay-more-attention-to-the-avn-adult-video-news-awards.1429204/#post-151044376

For cis women? It exists. But I feel uncomfortable speaking for them.

[Boredfrom]

This is just a notion I've been turning over in my head for over a decade and a half now. Obviously the advent of social media and its ability to allow people to isolate with other like-minded people and away from any dissenting voices is a massive, if not primary, contributor to the state of things. But for a long time I've been thinking that another problem is the overswinging of the pendulum regarding violence.

There has been a concerted effort in media to preach that violence is never the answer. That you should always resolve things peacefully. That acting with violence first is always bad and responding with violence is usually bad.

But the thing is? I don't think as many people would have gone as far off the deep end as they have if when they got their reality check it was in the mouth and at the end of a fist.

"But bad people would react violently." Bad people already deploy violence to get their way. They also deploy nonviolence to get their way. Bad people don't care about what's right or wrong. People who want to abuse and harm others will do so regardless and do do so regardless. Case in point: That grown ass man in TX who attacked children.

But in over teaching that violence is never the answer, we live in a world where the risk of harm that comes with calling someone a slur in front of them, their family and their friends is close to 0. So people get comfortable using slurs, instead of self-censoring in the off chance they might catch an ass whooping. This effects behavior in general.

And that's on the micro level. On the macro level we've created a society wherein bad actors can inflict whatever and however much harm as they want, but responding in any way that isn't calmly and politely registering displeasure is weaponized against the victimized. Not even just responding with actual violence. Any response can be deemed to violent.

And it's not like I'm talking about encouraging people to go off half-cocked at any slight. I just mean to say that decorum is only maintained equitably if the other guy might put your lights out for breaking it. And the lack of threat from people who want to do good has made for some boldly awful people.

Of course, it doesn't help, in the US at least, that someone might AK you tomorrow if you KO them today.

[Boredfrom]

ERA retards can barely read OP and thread titles… and you want them to encourage and justify violence because someone called you names? 

Why?

"But bad people would react violently." Bad people already deploy violence to get their way. They also deploy nonviolence to get their way. Bad people don't care about what's right or wrong. People who want to abuse and harm others will do so regardless and do do so regardless. Case in point: That grown ass man in TX who attacked children.

But in over teaching that violence is never the answer, we live in a world where the risk of harm that comes with calling someone a slur in front of them, their family and their friends is close to 0.

Those two ideas contradict each other you stupid asshole. You are bad person if you want people to act violently because the words of an idiot and you compared it with a grown ass man attacking a child.

[Boredfrom]

And the lack of threat from people who want to do good has made for some boldly awful people.

“Those fuckers don’t know what is good for them.” 

Bitch, you think that is a new concept? That the world never worked like that?

[Boredfrom]

Fuck the Patriots

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

https://www.resetera.com/threads/with-recent-years-political-emnity-causing-the-breakdown-of-friends-and-families-we-have-to-shout-loudly-the-scant-few-ties-that-still-bind-us.1429357/

 Encouraging and trivializing the treatment of politics as a team sport?

[Kazuma_Kiryu]

Constructive:

This site as a whole would be so much better if before hitting post people would think about whether their post actually contributes to a better discussion and feeling of community or if it's just negativity for negativitys sake.
(This goes for me too btw, I can be just as guilty of it as anyone else).

It doesn't help that plenty off people, in this very thread even, think that being morally pure means you get to be an asshole to "drive out bad takes"

I think there's a difference between "I don't like a thing, and here's why.." with an actual detailed explanation and "this is ugly", "this is slop", "who asked for this?".

The first one is engaging with the topic and having a differing opinion, which is okay! Constructive criticism should never be shouted down and is always helpful.

The other three are just low effort post padding via drive by. Especially when it's the same post over and over again in every thread about said topic. Some people basically become a predictable metronome no different than pulling on Woody's string to have him repeat the same catchphrases over and over.

The exception being calling out racism, sexism, transphobia, etc of course! That should always be welcome as well. People don't know what they don't know and even if everyone in that said thread knows, a lot of these threads get countless lurkers, so calling that shit out should always be high priority.

There's a reason why some Era threads calling out bullshit are too 10 in web SEO when you search for that topic, and that's a good thing.

I’m amazed this obnoxious cunt managed to go a whole post without mentioning the whitewashing of the Romani heritage of Scarlet Witch

I'm disappointed that Minthara didn't remind us that only being a first nation person matters. She's slipping.

[Propagandhim]

as someone that's gradually taking a more academic / analytic appreciation to porn

there's open math problems that we could try to solve first.  Wtf does this even mean, academicizing porn?  Oh hold up bro, I'm late to my ejaculatory dynamics: the geopolitics of the cumshot on facial cartography course *starts jerking off in public because sin is now legal and encouraged by democrats and the chuck schumer administration*

[Propagandhim]

study juche.  study juche or fuuuuck oooooooofffff

[Boredfrom]

as someone that's gradually taking a more academic / analytic appreciation to porn

there's open math problems that we could try to solve first.  Wtf does this even mean, academicizing porn?  Oh hold up bro, I'm late to my ejaculatory dynamics: the geopolitics of the cumshot on facial cartography course *starts jerking off in public because sin is now legal and encouraged by democrats and the chuck schumer administration*

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/nyt-freedom-with-a-side-of-guilt-how-food-delivery-is-reshaping-mealtime-one-household-spends-700-bucks-week.1429021/page-4#post-151052197

I don't think financial education is going to help. It won't hurt but gambling addictions, and other addictions like delivery addiction, are not there because people don't know that it's extremely bad for your financial situation.

[Propagandhim]

as someone that's gradually taking a more academic / analytic appreciation to porn

there's open math problems that we could try to solve first.  Wtf does this even mean, academicizing porn?  Oh hold up bro, I'm late to my ejaculatory dynamics: the geopolitics of the cumshot on facial cartography course *starts jerking off in public because sin is now legal and encouraged by democrats and the chuck schumer administration*

he's behind it all.  all the demoncrats

they call it a cell phone cuz it's a prison

they call it a library cuz lies r buried there

They call it the "Constitution" cuz they're conning the institution

they call it the american dream cuz u gots to be asleep to believe it

Yeah, keep snoring, bitch.


Firefly is the opposite of waterfall....and yet there hasn't been a scifi show about waterfalls in...gee...my entire fucking life?  Coincidence?  And yet Amerikkka still does what it does.  Contemplate that on the tree of woe, or whatever "branch" you believe in (Branches of gov't for example)  (separate but equal my fuckin ass)  (And who's government?  By and for which "people" exactly?  Have you ever even asked yourself this?).   Study juche or stay enslaved to your pharmaceuticals.  (they call it a "prescription" cuz it's a pre-script for your life)



Why they call it a Happy Meal if nobody is happy both prior and subsequent to eating said "happy" meal?  Hrmm?  Open your fucking eyes.

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/joe-rogan-defends-jeffrey-epstein-the-young-women-were-manipulating-the-men-for-their-connections.1429339/page-4#post-151058521

Why are the loudest voices on the internet also the most braindead?

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/anyone-else-been-disowned-discarded-by-their-family-for-failing-at-life.1429207/

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

I don't usually have them but this morning I had a dream about my cousin and in it we were still friends,  a closeness which in reality has not existed anytime recently. Naturally when I woke up, I felt really uneasy.

Growing up and through the decades even we were so close but I haven't seen her in like 5 years and I haven't talked to her in over 14 months. I'll probably never know why she stopped caring about me, what I did to be discarded like a total stranger and I don't think it will ever not hurt. I mean I -do- understand on a psychological level yet still it baffles my dumb empath ass almost daily to the point that I actually wish there was something tangible I did that caused it because then I could at least understand. It would make sense, there would be closure. To add insult to injury she was always the only person in the family to have my back.

Hearing about other peoples families, man... I want to tell them I would give anything for that. Even just one single family member, one ounce of support. I don't because I don't want to make anyone else feel bad but when I explain my situation and familial relationships, they all say the same thing. " that is so fucked up, how could your FAMILY do that to you? What did you do?"

I don't have an answer for them, because my family doesn't have an answer for me.

My mother's response when I ask her variations of the following questions -  "what have I done?" "What have I done to make you hate me?" -  is always the same: "Nothing Matt. You've done nothing."

Okay, rando on the internet... Surely there IS something you did. Something you've omitted!

Nope. I'm kind, polite, giving. I'm not a criminal.  I had great relationships with that chunk of my family until my abusive ex cut me off from everyone for 5 years and I wasn't able to provide or take car of myself. I haven't stolen money to buy drugs or whatever like you would imagine it's like for most "tough love" scenarios. Hell, until now I've never talked shit or even had a negative thought about my cousin. Before all this she could have come to me in my situation and I would have said, no, fuck that, I have (at the time) a spareroom (she has two). Ill get you out here and make sure you're okay. They will just not lift a single finger....it's like it's rooted in resentment.

Recently in a thread someone mentioned the concept of "failure to launch," for the first time. But a few years ago  I coined the term "merit based love family" to describe the exact phenomenon, which, I've just learned is wholly cultural. And my family was certainly raised with this mentality and certainly applied it to me.

Bear in mind I have CPTSD diagnosed by multiple doctors covering multiple extended traumas. since 2021 I've been disabled and have spent the majority of the last 3 years in the backseat of car. My cousin meanwhile, is a officially a doctor, having finished her residency some time last year, now making a doctors salary in a practice somewhere in South Texas. No student loans, no car payment, no mortgage. School and house paid off by dad in advance. Her fiance, is in the financial sector and along with the rest of that side of the family  (my mom, who, by most global and domestic metrics is also rich, excluded) are actual multi- millionaires. Her dad is one of the most renowned doctors in the county where we grew up. A heart surgeon. Her stepdad is a banker. all these people have multiple properties, timeshares, super fancy boats, etc..my cousin, at 39, still got an allowed of  $3k a month from her dad, but I don't know it's still the case at 40 now that she is working. And of course she has plenty of time for Facebook and Instagram. Weekly she posts pics of her eating hundreds of dollars of sushi at Uber fancy Japanese restaurants. And yet the way she last told it when I asked her 8 months ago asking for money to eat, when shaming me in return from bothering her....she is poor, worse off than me. It's maximum guilt trips and gas lights.


Anyway, after the dream I reached out to her.. it was only the second time in a year and a half and I don't know why because I don't ever expect her to have a sudden change of heart or actually talk about the issue or be anything but annoyed. And to be honest I feel guilty about it knowing med school and residency are really really rough, but our ambiguous divorce is on my mind almost every day, and I don't know how many more years would pass if I waited for her to reach out to me.

The fucked up thing is that it's not even about the money. I have been in situations where I've had to do really depressing up stuff for money, and it takes on a new aura when you don't have any for so long. But on God, If I had to choose between money and love, I would choose love every time. I would trade what little I had left for a loving mother, even if we were beggars together on the street.

But there is no love. No compassion. Just "get a job" and deal with your issues yourself.

Thats all, that's the end of my thought.

TL;DR : My entire family are heartless narcissists, and it really sucks to not have anyone

Two responses.