Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 2)

[Averon]

I like Alannah, but that's a bad take. Somehow she managed to include almost every excuse that's been uttered while not providing any substantive argument for them. Like I get it since she's worked at SSM and this seems to be an off the cuff thing in the middle of a stream, but it still sucks. She frames the issue people have is that it had sex all when that's never been the issue and you can point to several other games like Wolfenstein, Dragon Age: Inquisition, BG3, etc. that don't get criticized the same way. There's plenty of room for sex in media and there's even explicitly feminist media that has substantially more graphic sex and nudity the GoW, like The Woman Called Fujiko Mine.

The issue has always been framing and the context. The games are inarguably misogynistic and comes from people that worked on it's own misogyny. Like what's the artistic intent behind the "bros before hoes" trophy you get for killing a women?

Black Comedy? Is not that deep, bro.

All of this 👆

Also, is it known if Alanah Pearce is still besties with Asmongold? Because if so, that pretty much disqualifies her immediately when it comes to discussing topics of this nature.

Cancel culture doesn’t exist.

So desperate to link Pearce to Asmongold so they can totally dismiss her inconvenient opinion without engaging with it. Just pathetic, cowardly stuff.

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/there-are-21-prompts-before-you-get-to-the-resident-evil-requiem-start-screen-gotta-be-a-record-right.1456501/#post-152280721

 User banned (2 weeks): Racist generalization

Unsurprising. Japanese games aren't really known for their experience design in UI.

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/marathon-steam-ccu-thread.1455688/page-28#post-152296318

 User banned (permanent): Trolling, platform wars, and antagonistic commentary over multiple posts. Long history of similar behavior.

It isnt proof, hence an observation.

How is this not getting through to you?

Observations have to be based on something. You can't just make something up, assert it as happening, then hide behind semantics.

But I guess you eat live puppies for breakfast. Just an observation!

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/gkids-to-screen-4k-restorations-of-studio-ghibli-films-whisper-of-the-heart-the-secret-world-of-arrietty-in-u-s-canada.1458766/#post-152399020

 User banned (1 week): drive-by posting, attempted thread derail, account in junior phase

they should boycott america because fuck them

You can only say something like that about (((Israel))).

Edit:
https://www.resetera.com/threads/2026-us-and-israel-launches-strike-on-iran-khamenei-killed-israel-invades-lebanon.1449391/page-75#post-152040871

americans should be taking to the streets if they cared, but no they don't care. Americans bombed my country in iraq, my father lost his arm as a civilian, i still remember seeing him getting dragged out of his house by american troops. Seeing his face being embarrassed in front of all our family sticks to me to this very day. Americans on both sides of the political parties admit it was a bullshit war and to them its just "whoops my bad" Refugees like us get treated like shit when it was your countries that bombed us to hell that we had to flee for a decent life. We'll see when we have a wave of iranian refugees we'll see if americans are the first to welcome them with open arms.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/2026-us-and-israel-launches-strike-on-iran-khamenei-killed-israel-invades-lebanon.1449391/page-38#post-151978585

go tell that to my uncles and aunties living in iran to be happy and dance while they get bombed to hell by iran.

going to be my last post in this thread fucking makes my blood boil seeing shit like this.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/tens-of-thousands-of-protestors-killed-across-iran-22-jan-update-20k-protestors-killed.1395736/page-16#post-151695262

ive put e-side on ignore, side eyeing his posts. I have cousins in iran and none of them want america "liberate" them on behest of israel. lift the fucking sanctions / blockade if you care about the people and lift them on cuba.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/cuba-says-airlines-can-no-longer-refuel-as-there-isnt-enough-left-on-the-island-as-u-s-blockade-deepens-energy-crisis.1430437/page-2#post-151186720

This is what I call sanitized genocide where it's done in a way that doesn't weigh on American conscious.

These blockade and sanctions have been going on under both governments. My parents lived under American sanctions and it affects the average person rather than the people at the top. Shit like this makes me never forgive any American.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/tens-of-thousands-of-protestors-killed-across-iran-22-jan-update-20k-protestors-killed.1395736/page-2#post-149797072

Please don't lecture me I have every right to not take everything from western press at face value. I have lost half my family members to American forces and becoming a refugee in the UK because of it. I have friends and cousins in Iran.

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/marathon-steam-ccu-thread.1455688/page-55#post-152408938

 User banned (1 week): Trolling and metacommentary. Prior bans for the same

The infamous "I'm having a blast" loop has started. Already saw 5 comments like that in your review thread.

For those who don't know: the "I'm having a blast!" Loop refers to when a game is unsuccessful, but the community wants to save face. So people from that game's community, unprompted, go into any discussion about it and say "I'm having a blast!". That generally just makes you look desperate because if you actually were having fun with the game while ignoring any external "haters", you'd be posting about the game and not telling people, unprompted, how much fun you're having.

Tl;dr: Once you see a game's community devolve into "I'm having a blast!", you're cooked.

You're all weird, maybe some people are actually enjoying the game and want to say so, not everything is some low level conspiracy

[Boredfrom]

I mean, the fact that has good steam reviews of all places at least point it is sincere.  

I don’t disagree that more often than not is desperation and to save face.

[Geoff Marvel]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/all-time-greatest-and-all-time-worst-casting-choices-in-movies-thread.1458940/page-2#post-152406766

Lol that should say "Gal Gadot as _____" cause she literally has negative charisma. How she still gets high profile roles I will never understand.

[Daffy Duck]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/marathon-steam-ccu-thread.1455688/page-55#post-152408938

 User banned (1 week): Trolling and metacommentary. Prior bans for the same

The infamous "I'm having a blast" loop has started. Already saw 5 comments like that in your review thread.

For those who don't know: the "I'm having a blast!" Loop refers to when a game is unsuccessful, but the community wants to save face. So people from that game's community, unprompted, go into any discussion about it and say "I'm having a blast!". That generally just makes you look desperate because if you actually were having fun with the game while ignoring any external "haters", you'd be posting about the game and not telling people, unprompted, how much fun you're having.

Tl;dr: Once you see a game's community devolve into "I'm having a blast!", you're cooked.

You're all weird, maybe some people are actually enjoying the game and want to say so, not everything is some low level conspiracy

That’s such a wild ban, they didn’t say anything bad at all.

[NekoFever]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/tens-of-thousands-of-protestors-killed-across-iran-22-jan-update-20k-protestors-killed.1395736/page-2#post-149797072

Please don't lecture me I have every right to not take everything from western press at face value. I have lost half my family members to American forces and becoming a refugee in the UK because of it. I have friends and cousins in Iran.

Still angry about Americans invading Iraq. Happy to seek refuge in the famously uninvolved UK.

[filler]

can I get an option for japanese voice actors with subtitles

Correction: with subtitles not based on the English dub.

the fansub groups were making better subtitles for free than the garbage people are paying for these days 

[filler]

Well that's something that can obviously be changed with updated graphics? Also I get the suspicion Dice never played these games because you never actually see any sex so there's no clipping to be found

I feel fairly confident in stating Dice has never had sex.

I'd take that bet. She's skinny-brown-mouse-nerd-hot and a total pothead. Those girls fuck. 

...Or so I hear, in case my darling wife is peeping over the wall from the BireWives.com sister forum.

show me this nerdy slut 

[jooseloose]

Burka thread getting spicy:

I was trying to ignore the "God of War sex scene designed by women" but here it is, so-

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Kristi Noem
Karoline Leavitt
Lauren Boebert
Etc.

Women are every bit as capable as men in terms of crawling through the sewer to do stupid shit. "designed by women" doesn't give the scenes a pass. They are what they are and it doesn't matter who designed them.

Inflammatory comparisons?
Whataboutisms?

Bannable offences  but people in that thread have the longest leash.

[jooseloose]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/marathon-steam-ccu-thread.1455688/page-55#post-152408938

 User banned (1 week): Trolling and metacommentary. Prior bans for the same

You're all weird, maybe some people are actually enjoying the game and want to say so, not everything is some low level conspiracy

That’s such a wild ban, they didn’t say anything bad at all.

Did they accidentally ban the wrong person  That's very likely knowing them.

[Cheers]

.... I'm not the only one who acknowledges the human cost on African lives all this bullshit AI tech is having, right?

This bitch acts like having a job is some kind of existential torture. 

And here comes bootlicker number one. 

All the psychological damage on low income workers in the imperial periphery.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/meta-raybans-are-a-privacy-disaster-“we-see-everything-–-from-living-rooms-to-naked-bodies-”.1458091/page-2#post-152371732

This poser celebrates the end of USAID and when called out she projected and said the poster didn’t care about Africans. 

This is the problem with ultra leftists/socialists/communists/tankies: they’d never apply their global politics to their local neighborhoods. None of them, nobody, has given a reason we have to immediately rescue Gaza’s but we have time to let Africans starve because no more American imperialism. 

They’re fake. Posers.

[Potato]

How did you access my bucket list?!?

Fuck man, leave me alone you Irish git!

[Potato]

It's no different than the "Bayonetta was drawn by a woman!" arguments from a decade ago. Sure, she was, but that doesn't change the fact that she was an artist given a job by a straight man to draw a woman intended to be maximum sexy for said straight man. Women can contribute to (and in some cases even profit off of) institutionalized misogyny too!

Oh, fuck off with this shit. I get your point but every time you assholes mention this feels like you are implying that the woman was held on gunpoint and forced to draw smut against her will. It’s a convenient way to silence people that actually work in the industry.

"All women are sweet sweet angels, but also whores. Dirty stinking fucking cunt whores."
- WomanSmasher

[Potato]

As far as sex scenes go though... I dunno, I'm ace aromantic. I don't really get the big deal about them at all and try to skip them if possible, in every single game.

Fucking BS.

Ace Aromantic just sounds like a fancy way of saying Incel.

What’s the over/under on their favourite character being a thousand year old dragon…

It sounds like a Night Flight Orchestra album.

[Potato]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/all-time-greatest-and-all-time-worst-casting-choices-in-movies-thread.1458940/page-2#post-152406766

Lol that should say "Gal Gadot as _____" cause she literally has negative charisma. How she still gets high profile roles I will never understand.

She's hot...if you're a paedo who likes women with the bodies of 14 year old boys.

[Rendle]

Oh.

[Taco Bell Tower]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/all-time-greatest-and-all-time-worst-casting-choices-in-movies-thread.1458940/page-2#post-152406766

Lol that should say "Gal Gadot as _____" cause she literally has negative charisma. How she still gets high profile roles I will never understand.

She's hot...if you're a paedo who likes women with the bodies of 14 year old boys.

[Taco Bell Tower]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/sony-facing-7-9-bln-mass-lawsuit-over-playstation-store-prices.787656/page-3#post-152405932

In an ideal world Sony would lose this bad enough that they would end digital games and all future consoles would be physical only. If they cant profit from digital games then it makes sense to get rid of digital games (they can always profit from physical).

[Disco55]

This guy has to be a troll. Lol it doesn't take a genius to tell you why abandoning digital would be a horrible idea.

Also I have no sympathy for Sony if they get their ass handed to them in this lawsuit just because of their BS Dynamic pricing they are trying to pull.

[benji]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/ai-fueled-ram-crisis-forces-retro-game-preservation-site-myrient-to-permanently-close-retro-game-archived-with-390-tb-worth-of-data-gone.1450183/page-4#post-152082841

 User Banned (1 Week): Advocating piracy, long history of infractions

The important aspect to this topic has been the quite frankly absurd extensions to Copyright Length as Corporations like Disney have made it unreasonable.

Like I am all for the owners of the content making their money that they deserve. However we must be mindful of how unreasonable the length of the profit window has become.

When the US was founded Copyright lasted a Max of 28 years. Today it lasts nearly 100 years.

The point is the length of the extension has become a hinderance to preservation because legally speaking you can't start preserving the content at legal level till 100 years after the Copyright.

This is just too long because it's possible content that is a lot less profitable may be lost before it becomes public domain.

There should really be a serious discussion on how to address that at some point.

As someone who is in his late 40's and has just literally gotten around his block of hating JRGPs for the majority of my life.. I played Chono Trigger earlier this year, which has made me want to just consume as much JRPG's as i can now!

However, with that in mind and given "laws", i am going to look forward to downloading and playing all these classic games ive never played via emulation come the end of the 21st century. Oh wait, i won't i'll be dead.

I guess the only legal way for me to play these now is either wait for the IP holder to re-release these on a platform ( which i won't have ownership of the content anyway ) or try and obtain these 2nd hand , and the devices 2nd hand at stilly prices with zero revenue going to the IP holder.... and running the risk of the old physical media and hardware not even working now or in the future.

I think i know where my moral compass points.

 but you're not allowed to oppose IP on this anti-capitalist forum because it upsets everybody.

I love the description of neonazi Jake Lang as just a far right activist and critic of Zohran. He called Mamdani a "Muslim Communist Antifa Loving Ugandan INVADER." He's a former Jan 6er terrorist who got pardoned by Trump btw

I think "far-right" covers that, does it not? "Activist" is the real stretch.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/ecological-disaster-over-tehran-as-israel-bombs-oil-depots-unleashing-poisonous-black-rain-nuclear-winter-effect-on-10m-people.1457344/page-4#post-152357341

We don't deserve this planet.

You know. I've started to hate when people say "we have to save this planet for our future generations".
That's a very anthropocentric statement.
This planet doesn't need us. It had been spinning for billions of years without us. The difference is that now we are making this planet unlivable not only for us but for other species too. The best that could happen is for this failure if a species that has only brought monsters into existence to run its course.
And my major was ecology.

This whole post is a very anthropocentric statement.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/tennessee-gop-rep-andy-ogles-says-muslims-%E2%80%98don%E2%80%99t-belong%E2%80%99-in-america-introduces-bill-to-ban-immigration-from-majority-muslim-countries.1457626/#post-152347921

I grew up learning about how multiculturalism was a good thing, about how we could all learn something from each other and make a better world together. How everyone had something to offer.

It seems like, in the last decade, we've collectively moved away from those ideas and have started looking inward, rejecting anything that goes against our preconceived notions, rejecting anything new or different, rejecting anything that makes us feel even slightly uncomfortable. Everything has become either "you're on my side" or "you're against me" as if we hadn't grown up learning the world was a complicated place with many different viewpoints.

Well, there are plenty of multicultural success stories out there. Seems that multiculturalism has only started to have problems in the last 20 years when migration started coming from certain regions where a specific religious extremism is dominant. 

I will argue that it become a problem when people started to discourage assimilation or being afraid to enforce some cultural cornerstones.

“Yes, your culture is valid and has worth, but you still need to respect the culture and values of the country you are living in.”

“No, stuff like free speech, laicism and secularism are not negotiable. You don’t have any excuse to kill somebody for a cartoon of your religious prophet.” 

(You could argue BDubs has failed in both in the context of the forum: “we let minority voices trample over the majority” and “we tolerate calls for violence and bigotry as long is not directed to us or a group we protect.”)

It's this. A whole swath of the elite decided that multiculturalism is in fact bad because it doesn't topple Western civilization, instead it integrates and assimilates everyone into "whiteness" and capitalism and therefore is bad.

The stuff about the populations being different is wrong, what changed is that those populations have been essentially mandated to not adapt or else they're traitors to their people. The same thing was pushed on Black populations who have been in the West for centuries. That they should reject everything their ancestors wanted and pursued to instead show "solidarity" with people they've never met and have nothing in common with them except skin color.

Assimilation in the past wasn't something that was enforced, in fact most states did more to discourage it, but the people wanted to assimilate because they wanted their descendants to have better lives than them. Now this is seen as betrayal: "none of us are free until all of us are free" means any crab who escapes the bucket is a traitor.

.... I'm not the only one who acknowledges the human cost on African lives all this bullshit AI tech is having, right?

https://www.resetera.com/threads/meta-raybans-are-a-privacy-disaster-“we-see-everything-–-from-living-rooms-to-naked-bodies-”.1458091/page-2#post-152371732

Okay, lay out the cost for me.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/thr-rosanna-arquette-says-quentin-tarantino-has-been-given-%E2%80%9Chall-pass%E2%80%9D-to-use-n-word-in-films-%E2%80%9Cit%E2%80%99s-not-art-it%E2%80%99s-just-racist-and-creepy%E2%80%9D.1456729/#post-152300992

 User banned (permanent): Dismissing concerns of racism. Account in junior phase.

I don't see the issue really.

Samuel L. Jackson infamously stopped filming and lectured Leonardo de Caprio and others to get some real vile behind their n-word usage because it was inaccurate for them to say it the way they were. In Django that usage is supposed to make you uncomfortable and realize they're the bad guys. Same as the completely nonchalant bigotry in Inglourious Basterds. Arquette is completely missing the point by not realizing it's supposed to be racist and creepy. If it wasn't, you'd like the Nazis and slaveholders in these films because they're the more entertaining characters. The juxtaposition between them and their beliefs is the full scope of their characters. Same with Jackson's character in Django, his loyalty isn't to the other slaves because he seems himself as so very different from them.

Something something media literacy....

https://www.resetera.com/threads/senator-husted-of-ohio-poor-people-dont-know-how-money-works.1459156/

This is such a fucking dumb statement that I feel ridiculous saying it but we are in hell: no one knows budgeting more than a poor person.

Hope this motherfucker gets trampled by a moose.

If there's any class of people that understands how money works on a deeper level than anybody else, it's those who don't fucking have it or barely have enough to get by. Not gonna let this clown rile me up. Nope lol

Most consistently poor people do not budget well at all, the money goes out faster than it comes in. You're rejecting something empirically true because you think it's a moral condemnation rather than a statement of inherent fact.

As far as sex scenes go though... I dunno, I'm ace aromantic. I don't really get the big deal about them at all and try to skip them if possible, in every single game.

The sex scenes in God of War are so fucking tame, they basically just suggest something rather than depict anything at all.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/all-time-greatest-and-all-time-worst-casting-choices-in-movies-thread.1458940/page-2#post-152406766

Lol that should say "Gal Gadot as _____" cause she literally has negative charisma. How she still gets high profile roles I will never understand.

Also, she improvised the smirk after being smashed in Doomsday in BvS.

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

[HaughtyFrank]

Am I crazy or didn't everyone love Gal Gadot after Wonder Woman 1?

[benji]

That was back when she was owning chuds by making a movie starring a woman instead of aligning herself with chuds like Snyder or Israel.

[Mediocre Lager]

Isn't that the same freak who masturbates at work?

Boss make a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I crank my hog
On company time

[BIONIC]

Isn't that the same freak who masturbates at work?

Boss make a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I crank my hog
On company time

Post cranked hog

[BIONIC]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/digital-foundry-how-resident-evil-requiem-pc-path-tracing-amplifies-the-horror.1459834/#post-152433388

I’m on a tighter than usual budget right now so went PS5 Pro via GameFly for this game, and will likely do the same for Pragmata and Control Resonant. Once I can buy these on PC dirt cheap, you bet I’m going to try PT immediately.

So he has enough money to afford a PS5 Pro and a PC strong enough to do path tracing, but not enough money to actually buy games to play on them?

[benji]

Another prudent financial decision:

I have to say the differences between the two at max settings and Switch 2 are so impressively minimal that I can't believe I'm playing this on Nintendo hardware the way it is. It looks SO damn good on Switch 2. Gives me great hope for this console. It's just astounding what they've achieved here.

On Nintendo Switch 2, Resident Evil Requiem is rendered at an internal resolution of 360p in handheld mode and 540p in docked mode with Deep Learning Super Sampling (DLSS) upscaling and anti-aliasing to a respective 720p and 1080p output resolution. ... RTGI is included but ray traced reflections are removed and replaced with screen-space reflections instead. It has notable downgrades in geometry and hair rendering quality, using hair cards that give hair a rougher look rather than the RE Engine's more natural strand system.[55]

 

They'll keep shoving Leons dusty 50 year old bones around, in his midlife crisis moblie and sex pest haircut, but seem terrified of having a 50 year old Jill pop up.

Someone is bitter.

That's basically the part he's leaving out, that everyone seems to think older Leon is even hotter. If they showed an aged up version of Jill designed in a way that has people drooling he'd likely be mad too.

Holy shit, this guy's got a raging hate boner for Leon! 

Can't wait for 60 year old Leon to suplex the sad zombie.

We all know his middle name because he references it all the time.

You see, Leon is pushing 50, wears a leather jacket, has the haircut of a 2003 scene band and drives a Porsche. Like all similarly well adjusted men like that, he heard on a podcast that introducing yourself to a woman with your middle name will prompt a response from the woman (or "female" as the podcast says) forcing her to engage you in conversation.

At this point in time he's said his name to so many 20 year old uninterested women that resemble Ada at bars, that it's become a part of our shared base of common knowledge and lived experience.

Everyone knows Leons middle name just like how everyone knows where they were during 9/11. Well...not the women he's creeping on. But that's not their fault. They weren't born yet.

Leon, with that hair cut, looks to be desperately clinging onto any semblance of youth whilst resembling a racist Karen mixed with a racist Tory MP. Leon "midlife crisis" Kennedy. He even has his own custom Porsche for the love of god.

Chris could decide to lose the muscle mass, go salt and pepper and still look dapper. Leon looks like the sort of dude who would be trying to chat up 18 year olds in the goth clubs until he's 65.

We know who to blame, women like Alanah Pearce who don't know what's good for them:

Capcom's female staff members were involved in designing the older Leon.[33] Game director Koshi Nakanishi said that Capcom's female team members "would point out and comment on even the finest details like the wrinkles on his neck" and felt that they had created a design "that would make anyone's heart throb".[34] The older Leon has been characterized by the Japanese slang term "ikeoji" that roughly translates to "an attractive or cool older man" and as a "hot uncle".[35]

And the chuds used the sexy child pornography simulator tech:

The Requiem team had been working on improving Grace's hair rendering, but they could not achieve their desired visual quality. Development on the hair strand system for longer hair was led by the team working on Pragmata for that game's android character Diana alongside the RE Engine development team.[50] This work on Diana's hair rendering in Pragmata was later transferred to Requiem for Grace's hair.[51]

Don't think it's a coincidence that everyone is praising this pedophile-tech game right when Marathon is releasing and Highguard is being shut down. It's difficult to believe that's not how somebody wants it. Especially when you see chud ringleaders like Dunkey openly undermining Marathon in his Resident Evil video.

[Jansen]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/my-wife-of-9-years-wants-a-divorce-and-im-struggling-so-damn-much.1459723/

My wife and I began dating more than 14 years ago, our first year in college. A storybook start to a fantastic relationship. January 2012, our friends were playing beer pong, she and I were both the third wheel and sitting at a bench watching. I started talking to her, and she was so damn cool. The next weekend she came to my dorm to visit me and when I went to let her in, I saw her through the doorway standing waiting, and I didn't know it then, but that's the day I fell in love.



My childhood was horrible. My one goal in life, I told myself as a 12 year old after seeing my father physically abuse my mother and sister, was to have a marriage, have a family, and never get divorced. I wanted to be a father and a husband and never, ever split my family. I vowed to myself as a child. That was what I wanted. I didn't care then, and I still don't care, what job I have or how much money I make. I just want a family that loves.



In the summer of 2012, we did the long-distance thing and traveled back and forth and she said she loved me first. It was the greatest feeling in the world, hearing that from someone who isn't a parent or a sibling.



At some point that summer she did something to offend her stepmother and was kicked out of her father's house. She had to move in with her grandparents, and her relationship with her father completely fell apart.



Because of finances, we both took time off from school for the fall semester of 2012, then when we both went back, we moved in to an apartment together off-campus after dating for about 10 months. We lived together in that college town for more than 3 years as I finished school. She had dropped out because she wasn't sure what major to pursue, and worked full-time to support us both. We worked at the same daycare facility, though with different ages and different hours. We went on bike rides and played tennis and long walks. We watched movies and cuddled and played video games sometimes. We were happy. It was a simple life but we were so happy. I got an idea to write a book and started it then. This part is important later.



The last summer before I graduated, August 2016, we got married. She was 22, I was 21. We were poor college students, and got married at her grandparent's small beach house. Less than 100 people were invited to the wedding, I cooked all the food, her dress was the largest expense (even more than the ring). Her father did not come to the wedding, though all of her siblings did. It was a small ceremony, but we were happy with it. I graduated in December of 2016 with the love of my life at my side.



We moved back to my hometown because a family member helped me with a job connection. That January we found out she was pregnant. I worked my entry level HR job, she got a job she sort of enjoyed as an administrative assistant at a big factory. I started coaching my younger brother in youth sports. We bought a house in May of 2017, had a quiet summer prepping the house, and our first daughter was born in September. I thought I'd made it. I thought my life was perfect. We got a dog, who is now eight and getting old. I had friends in town, my wife did not, at least at first. Her mother, who lived several hours away, pursued a dream and moved from Minnesota to Alaska.



My wife got promoted a few times into roles for more money, but more stress and she liked the jobs less and less. Our second daughter was born in November of 2019. That pregnancy was hard, physically and emotionally. We had planned to have four kids, but my wife couldn't do another one, so after the birth she made the decision to make sure she can never have kids again. I supported her, because it was the right decision and I love her. My wife's brother died. He was only a few years older than us, and had been battling alcoholism and a drug addiction and a bunch of other things. That hit us all hard, including her mother, and their relationship spiraled. Her father grew from losing his son and worked hard, so hard, to patch things up with my wife and I am so proud that they fixed things. I had to be responsible and hold things down as all of this stuff was happening in her life, and we were juggling a baby and a toddler and a dog and a new kitten. 



We did the family thing for a while. We got the toddlers into Gymnastics, we went on walks with the dog and the stroller. I thought my life was perfect. And looking back, this is probably the happiest part of my life. Era, this was so good. So good. And I want that back more than anything.



But she grew tired of having only my friends and family around, she wanted to see her grandparents in their twilight years, so we made the decision to move out of town.



In January 2022, I got a job not quite halfway between where my family is from and where hers is from. We got a house up here in May 2022. It was at the very edge of our budget. But we figured this could be our forever home. She tried the remote work thing and hated it. She already disliked her job and that made it worse. She quit that job and I supported her. She wanted to open up a daycare in our home, and I supported her. I thought it was not going to work, but I wanted so badly for her to be happy. It did not work. Half our house was her work area and she hated going in those spaces on the weekends. Her work never ended. For some stupid reason, I got us a second dog in this time frame, thinking it was what we needed. The house started having issues.



In May 2024, she closed the daycare. Between house repairs and daycare losses, we lost a lot of money. She took the summer off to spend with our young daughters, and I could tell my wife was falling into the despair of depression. She had no career at the age of 30. She had few friends, and she told me she invested so much time and effort into me and the kids, she lost herself. She had no hobbies and no interests and did not like her life. Her not working that summer blew through what little remained of our savings. But I didn't care. Truly. I'd go $1,000,000 into debt if it made her happy. I wanted her to be happy and to have time to reset. We barely made ends meet. I was so desperate to make things work for us, I grew even more reserved. I didn't want to do anything that spent money, including my hobbies of wargaming and collecting Lego and Blu-Rays. In hindsight, I truly stopped having fun. Aside from my coaching and occasional xbox with friends, I didn't do anything anymore.



I encouraged her to find who she is. I wanted to be the rock for her, to be the person she can rely on. She started venturing out with local adult-league sports. She met some friends. In September 2024, she got a job at a school as a teacher's assistant and absolutely loves it. The school has pushed her hard to finish her degree so she can be a full teacher. But the assistant job pays horribly, so she started working at Wal-Mart part-time. Almost every night she would come home from work at the school, grab food, and be gone within an hour. My kids and I barely saw her. I thought it would be temporary. She started getting into romance books. After reading maybe three books our entire relationship, she was banging out a book a week or more. I was happy she had found a hobby. We had a wonderful temporary bump in our sex life, and I thought things were great.



In January 2025, I got a call that I was wanted to move up from youth coaching to high school. I was so happy. My wife was happy for me. But I could tell something was still wrong.



In March 2025, she quit her job at Wal-Mart. I started coaching the high school team and spending more time away from family. I could tell things were distant between us, but I thought it would be okay. Summer 2025 she went on a vacation with the kids to visit her mother in Alaska. She didn't check in with me often, and two nights I didn't even get a chance to say good night to the kids. One day it started a long distance fight between us, and she ignored my calls and texts for a while. When they all came home, we had a talk. She told me she didn't feel the same way about me anymore. She loved me, but was no longer in love with me. I asked if she wanted a divorce, she said she did not want to break up our family. I asked her what I could do, and she recommended couples therapy.



My stupid ass did research online and saw in many cases it drives people apart. So I dug my heels in and said no, but we can try other things. She said okay. We talked a lot. We spent time together. Some things improved, others did not.



Our biggest fight of our marriage came in October 2025. She told me she wanted to meet up with a friend from work at the park. I didn't mind. I asked if she had an idea how long they'd be out, to plan for dinner. She said an hour or two. That evening I texted her and said dinner was ready, no need to pick anything up. No response. I texted again at bedtime for the girls, asking if she would be home soon. No response. I called her after getting the girls down, no answer. I texted later and asked if she was okay, then called again. She answered then and put me on speaker, made her friend say hi. I said I was worried about her, she said it was fine. She got home that night a bit after 10pm, after more than six hours with her friend at the park. I have no doubts that they were sitting talking. I know and trust my wife. I was just so worried and anxious about it being a park after dark and she simply never texted me back. We fought hard. I just wanted to make sure she was okay, she thought I was being overbearing and didn't trust her. It was a disaster. But we made it through and life returned to our normal.



In December 2025 we had another talk, and she said nothing had changed on her end. And in fact, she just doesn't miss me when I'm gone. She doesn't think about me, doesn't love me like that at all. It was hard to hear.



I had a breakdown after Christmas with my family, when I realized it would probably be our last as a full family. She told me things would work out okay. A few weeks later, I overheard her speaking to a friend on the phone about this stupid house we have. That she was ready to sell it, and that when (not if) we do divorce, we are going to have to co-parent and live together while selling a house. I confronted her that night, and she said she wasn't sure, but she leaned toward splitting.



I had another breakdown. Memories of my childhood, and my emotionally abusive father, and my single mom who thought I was responsible enough to raise myself...it all came back. I have had body image issues our entire relationship, and have voiced that to her more times than I can count. She has grown exhausted of that talk. I have no self-confidence, and she has grown exhausted. I got into therapy for myself, and asked my wife to join me. In our first couples session, we were asked to rate 1-10, 1 being split now, 10 being do anything to make it work, where are we. I said a 9. She said an 8. I was on cloud-9. I thought we would be okay. We can fix this. Progress, right? I finished my book. After infinite drafts and revisions and nearly 12 years of writing, I was happy enough to print out five copies and send it to two family members, two friends, and my wife to read it.



But as I'm confronting my past, and the memories of my father, and his abuse and how badly that divorce went, I've been spiraling. My wife has grown exhausted of me. We have spoken about "us" several times in the last few months. Every time she says nothing has changed. I convinced her to do a family road trip in February 2026. It was great! We have so many great pictures and experiences and memories and I thought it was great. She says it was, too. I didn't expect it to fix us, but I thought it might help.



This past weekend, Saturday, I asked a simple question why she has had my book for three months and hadn't read it. She said it was because it wasn't her favorite genre of romance. I saw red. I regret much of what I said, but it started with "Bullshit. You love me, right? This has been important to me for more than a decade, right? Why can't you just read it?" and our fight started. A nasty one. An exhausting one. For the first time in our entire marriage I chose not to go to bed with her that night. Everything came back. My parents, my unloving wife, everything. I contemplated suicide but figured I wouldn't be good enough to succeed and that she would be stuck taking care of a vegetable. So I didn't. I'm here still. I don't plan to do that anymore. Please don't worry, however few of you have read this far.



Any time I try to talk to her, I can tell she just has no feelings for me anymore. I do anything and everything to help her, and I wanted to be that rock for support, but I've been a rock weighing her down. I talked to her sunday, I talked to her monday, and she said that she lied at our couples therapy. She wasn't at an 8. She was at a 6, and now it's dropped to a 4.



Part of me loves that, because she is honest and a 4 isn't a 1, we can maybe still salvage this...but I don't think we will.



She has grown and changed over the 14 years we have been together. She is no longer the person she was in college. And I get that. But I love who she was then, and I love even more now who she is now. I want her to stay, I want this family to continue. And she says she wants to leave. Because she deserves to be happy and that I deserve to have someone who loves me as much as I love her. And I want her to be happy. If that's away from me, then so be it. But I do not think I'll ever love someone the way I have loved her. I don't care. I want her. I want her. I want her.



She talked to me last night about taking the kids up to her grandparents' place for the summer. That I can live here alone and the house can be well put together so that we can sell it. It was very matter of fact. It was a "maybe we can do this" but the way she was talking...its not a maybe. Its what she wants. I broke down again, and she had to leave to go to something she had planned.



I do nothing but cry these days. She fell in love with a college kid who had charisma and happiness and an easygoing nature. Now all I do is cry. I exhaust her. I want to have fun, I want to save our marriage, but every time I look at her, I grow sad. Every time I look at my children, I grow sad. My wife asked me to wrap around her last night in bed, to warm her up, and I started to cry. Because I won't have many nights of this left. My daughter cried this morning saying she didn't want to go to school because she just wanted to stay home with her family. Her whole family. And I lost it, then. Because soon we probably won't ever have our whole family together anymore and holy shit, Era. I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I can do anymore. I feel like a failure and a loser and all of it wrapped into one.



I don't know how any of you can help, but I needed to get this into words. I cried a lot writing this. I hate that I did it. I'll probably delete this later. I am so, so sad. I hate this feeling and hope more than anything that none of you have to ever experience it.