Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 2)

[Boredfrom]

Self fulfilling prophecy, but in my case is more difficult to convince someone to seek therapy when the overall attitude of this country is “suck it up the pain”.

machoism, right?

Machismo and Catholic “original sin”.

Obviously, there is still a lot of Quack therapist here, but a blue collar middle class family attitude is “not even bother unless you are really nuts… and you aren’t a nutcase, aren’t you?”.

[Uncle]

such a hipster thing like "ohhhh my sin was the original one, not like all these new sinners, like seriously you claim to be into sinning? name 5"

[Taco Bell Tower]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/borderlands-4-ot-zanzibart%E2%80%A6forgive-me.1291206/
doops. probably has by far the funniest ban I've ever seen 

User banned (3 days): Impersonating staff

[DavidCroquet]

why doops banned

EDIT: I see the above link and ban reason, but I still don't get it

[nachobro]

the original title of that thread was something like (MOD EDIT: real fans would pay $80)

[Propagandhim]

Here is a compassionate therapist-led **dialogue** tailored to the specific members and themes in the provided thread, focused on de‑escalation, coping skills, and practical next steps for well-being and community health. The exchanges below speak directly to recurrent conflict, therapy skepticism, AI debates, grief/anger, and boundary setting that came up in the posts shared.[1]

## Dialogue
Therapist: What comes across most is a mix of exhaustion, anger, and care for others; it’s valid to want conversations that reduce heat while making room for grief, frustration, and genuine disagreement without pile‑ons or contempt. A helpful frame here is “assume ignorance before malice,” paired with clear boundaries about harassment, doxxing, and personal attacks to keep the space workable for differing views.[1]

Boredfrom: The frustration with unending arguments about AI, Silksong, and therapy seems compounded by worry about family who are depressed but avoid help, which can feel like carrying a heavy backpack every day with no off‑ramp. A next step that often helps reluctant relatives is a “one small experiment” approach: invite a single consult, a sleep check, or a primary‑care screening to lower the stakes without turning it into a referendum on being “really nuts” or “weak”. Anger can be fuel; try channeling it into two boundaries this week—limit thread re‑litigation loops and step away on first physical cue of escalation (tight jaw, shallow breath) for five minutes before posting.[1]

Uncle: The stance that therapeutic relief can come from nonjudgmental listening—including chatbots or “rubber duck” style reflection—tracks with the function of externalizing and slowing cognition, but it works best as a tool, not a total replacement for professional care when risk or impairment rises. Consider a simple structure: write or speak the concern, list three plausible interpretations, and commit to a smallest possible action that is testable within 24 hours, then evaluate whether it helped before iterating.[1]

PogiJones: Skepticism about “everyone must have a therapist” can coexist with acknowledging targeted use cases—acute risk, stuck patterns, trauma, relational gridlock—where evidence‑based modalities (CBT, ACT, IPT, behavioral activation) tend to outperform going it alone or purely venting online. A low‑commitment trial like three sessions with a clear goal (“reduce sleep‑onset time,” “cut catastrophizing before posting,” “repair one strained relationship”) can demonstrate utility without endorsing therapy as a lifestyle.[1]

benji: The distinction between ignorance and malice is a stabilizing community norm, especially when tempers spike around politics, AI, or bans, because it invites correction and repair before condemnation while still enforcing hard lines on doxxing and harassment. Translating that into practice looks like: reflect the strongest reasonable version of a claim, ask one clarifying question, then offer one counterpoint with a citation, and disengage if the exchange becomes repetitive or personal.[1]

Jansen: Humor is a real coping skill, yet it lands best when it builds connection rather than minimizes someone’s pain or invites gladiatorial escalation that others will feel compelled to one‑up. Try the “punch up, not down” test and a quick consent cue—if a joke targets power or systems and the other person signals they’re in on it, proceed; if it risks invalidating distress, pivot to curiosity first.[1]

Gameboy Nostalgia: Lewd humor can blow off steam, but repeated shock posts often mask agitation, poor sleep, or loneliness, and a two‑minute body check (breath, jaw, shoulders, stomach) before posting may reveal tension worth addressing offline. A workable swap is a quick physical reset—cold water to the face, 10 slow exhales, three‑minute walk—then decide whether the joke still serves connection rather than compulsion.[1]

Hap Shaughnessy: Rapid‑fire link posting and popcorn reactions can accidentally reward outrage cycles that leave everyone more brittle, especially when real grief or family conflict is being shared. A small tweak is adding one empathic sentence before any critique, and skipping engagement entirely when a thread’s moderation history or content invites doxxing or dogpiling.[1]

Taco Bell Tower: Surfacing moderation inconsistencies and doxxing attempts is protective, but turning each example into a running scoreboard can keep arousal high; document, report, and redirect attention to behavior‑based norms (“no personal info, no impersonation, no brigades”) to lower ambient threat. For personal nervous system downshift after moderation drama, try the 3‑3‑3: name three things in sight, three sounds, and move three body parts, then re‑enter discussions with a single purposeful point.[1]

DavidCroquet: The preference for “a good therapist, not a bobble‑head validator” highlights the importance of fit—collaborative agenda setting, measurable goals, and a plan for termination rather than indefinite venting. When choosing, ask: what’s the method, what will be done in session and between sessions, how will progress be tracked in four weeks, and what specific signs suggest it’s time to end or refer.[1]

Straight Edge and Besticus Maximus: Calling out perceived hypocrisies can feel righteous but often inflames without movement; try swapping one call‑out with one curiosity prompt (“what outcome would show this wasn’t performative?”) and one actionable norm the group can enforce. If posting after irritation, delay two minutes and rewrite once to remove labels aimed at people while keeping critiques aimed at behaviors or policies.[1]

Potato and NeppyNep: Polarized takes about AI, marketing posts, and celebrity politics are predictable spark points; the repeated pattern is global judgments about groups that invite symmetrical counter‑judgments. Use the “one claim, one context, one alternative” format to keep posts falsifiable and specific rather than identity‑based, which reduces ricochet anger.[1]

Group action plan (1 week): pick one personal boundary for posting (time of day, number of replies, or topic skip), one nervous system reset to deploy before hot topics, and one relationship repair bid (validate one person disliked, ask one sincere question, or leave one thread kindly). Share outcomes briefly next week so improvements are visible and can compound.[1]

If anyone is at immediate risk or feels unable to stay safe, contact local emergency services or a suicide and crisis line right away; in the U.S., 988 offers 24/7 confidential support, and stepping back from posting in acute moments is a strength, not a failure. Online tools and AI can be adjuncts for reflection, but when safety, functioning, or relationships are deteriorating, in‑person or telehealth care with a licensed clinician is the prudent escalation path.[1]

[1](https://ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com/web/direct-files/attachments/1016155/ef1b56d1-def7-4f79-9dae-e79349fad570/paste.txt)

[benji]

Nah. You are the one gaslighting and bullying me by pretending I just want to shut up Pogi and is as invalid to say “that’s why this irritates me, I have been personally affected by this attitude”

You are. You took offense, lectured him, and now continue to lecture me, about things he did not advocate. And justifying it with a case that doesn't apply in anything anyone has said. While specifically telling us we should not voice these opinions on the forum.

And you're also attempting to try and do this by asserting it's my duty to support your unprovoked attacks on members and that I should dissuade them from making arguments they believe to be true because you don't like different arguments:

Especially when the "room" is entirely a metaphoric conception that doesn't exist except in the dictator's head.

You are admin of this forum.

in my case is more difficult to convince someone to seek therapy when the overall attitude of this country is “suck it up the pain”.

In other words you completely admit I was not gaslighting you and neither was Pogi despite your typical outraged non-sequiturs. You were reading your perception of your local conditions into completely different statements, that indeed said the opposite, made by people who are not subject to those local conditions. Then demanded we "read the room" where the room was entirely knowledge limited within yourself that applied to a different situation as if that somehow would advise members to never make any arguments against the idea that everyone needs professional therapy.

As long as you're always coming in hot to accuse everyone else of bad faith while refusing to explain what you mean or even are addressing because it's things that were unsaid this will continue happening even if the language barrier were circumvented. I would imagine the reason me and Uncle are generally the only ones who actually take the bait is because of our unquenchable desire to know what in the fuck you're ever talking about with these kinds of posts, everyone else just ignores or dismisses them. 

Addressing all this, especially when it involves other members, is a way of being the admin so remember you asked for it.

[Propagandhim]

no advice for me.  looks like my mental health is already in tip-top shape 

[benji]

Gameboy Nostalgia: Lewd humor can blow off steam, but repeated shock posts often mask agitation, poor sleep, or loneliness, and a two‑minute body check (breath, jaw, shoulders, stomach) before posting may reveal tension worth addressing offline. A workable swap is a quick physical reset—cold water to the face, 10 slow exhales, three‑minute walk—then decide whether the joke still serves connection rather than compulsion.[1]

Taco Bell Tower: Surfacing moderation inconsistencies and doxxing attempts is protective, but turning each example into a running scoreboard can keep arousal high; document, report, and redirect attention to behavior‑based norms (“no personal info, no impersonation, no brigades”) to lower ambient threat. For personal nervous system downshift after moderation drama, try the 3‑3‑3: name three things in sight, three sounds, and move three body parts, then re‑enter discussions with a single purposeful point.[1]

[Jansen]

Mods so humourless they could be Borderlands writers.

[Taco Bell Tower]

It'd be hilarious if thanks to us whining and bitching the OP gets three months instead of three days

It would indeed be funny 

[HaughtyFrank]

As always the mods could just be like "Hey, don't do that, here's a warning" instead they instantly need to ban someone because that's literally the only way they know how to interact with the forum

(Also ban Doops for making blusky outrage threads instead)

[Eric Cartman]

Are you seriously implying Valve opening up Deadlock to the public around Concord's release (though I'm pretty sure that timeline doesn't work out) was part of some coordinated/deliberate effort to kill the game because it included lgbt characters, despite that Deadlock itself has lgbt characters? Real Pepe Silvia thinking right here.

No, I'm saying that they fully opened up Deadlock to the public (it no longer needing the invites) on Concord's release day. Kill the seemingly-never-had-a-chance competition, especially since they were in a weakened state. The head of Valve is one of the wealthiest people in the world. You don't get to a position like that without being cunning, calculating, ruthless, shrewd and outright spiteful. That's what I'm saying about that point, very specifically.

You also don't get there being shit at your job

Let's compare and contrast:
Deadlock:
"guys, we're trying something really new out so we dont want reviews or shit going on because we will change literally anything based on feedback because we want to make this fun as hell"

Concorde:
"We spend millions on this and already got our comics, merchandise and tv show ready to roll, and shits basically finished, so heres our no gameplay trailer. Oh, you hate the character designs? Fuck you, we aint changing shit. Preorder now for a closed beta access. Oh, you don't like the gameplay? Fuck you, we aint changing shit. Oh, nobodies playing our marketing beta? Ok, we'll let PSN+ people play for a weekend. You still dont like it, and nobodies playing? Fuck you, we aint changing shit, $60 preorder for an online only multiplayer title, $10 dlc skins day one, fuck you. THANKS, GABEN"

[DavidCroquet]

DavidCroquet: The preference for “a good therapist, not a bobble‑head validator” highlights the importance of fit—collaborative agenda setting, measurable goals, and a plan for termination rather than indefinite venting. When choosing, ask: what’s the method, what will be done in session and between sessions, how will progress be tracked in four weeks, and what specific signs suggest it’s time to end or refer.[1]

Ironically, my actual human therapist mentions the importance of FIT all the time, but in the form of an acronym.

F = Frequency: How often is the event occurring?
I = Intensity: How intense is it when it happens?
T = Time: How long does each of these incidents typically last?

These three factors can be considered when evaluating whether recurrent difficulties with loved ones are cause for alarm, and also how one's personal strategies are impacting the situation: Is FIT improving, worsening, or the same?

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

 

[Boredfrom]

In other words you completely admit I was not gaslighting you and neither was Pogi despite your typical outraged non-sequiturs.

No, you are gaslighting because you understand me perfectly but don’t want to admit it because is easy to you be above everyone else.

You were reading your perception of your local conditions into completely different statements, that indeed said the opposite, made by people who are not subject to those local conditions.

Me: hey dude, you don’t have family that refuse to seek therapy when needed because social stigmas to say “almost everyone are Quacks”.

You: DONT SILENCE POGI.  

As long as you're always coming in hot to accuse everyone else of bad faith while refusing to explain what you mean or even are addressing because it's things that were unsaid this will continue happening even if the language barrier were circumvented.

I did explain. You decided to go with not U. 


 

I would imagine the reason me and Uncle are generally the only ones who actually take the bait is because of our unquenchable desire to know what in the fuck you're ever talking about with these kinds of posts, everyone else just ignores or dismisses them.

What bait? Uncle was the one that decided to respond the post I made from what I suppose was a no controversial opinion. But whatever, is a discussion forum but I still can express annoyance for some discussions and ideas like everyone else does here.

Addressing all this, especially when it involves other members, is a way of being the admin so remember you asked for it.

Hey, why Potato keeps calling me a pedophile?

[Taco Bell Tower]

As always the mods could just be like "Hey, don't do that, here's a warning" instead they instantly need to ban someone because that's literally the only way they know how to interact with the forum

(Also ban Doops for making blusky outrage threads instead)

I wouldn't be surprised if it was Transistor who banned him

[nachobro]

boredfrom would have a better time here if he just said "shut up faggot" more

[benji]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/borderlands-4-ot-zanzibart%E2%80%A6forgive-me.1291206/page-4#post-144861048

Lmao what is this ban?

really?

Lmao this thread is a mess already

Poor doops. Hit for the title from multiple angles. I don't think he was truly trying to impersonate staff with the silly title, which I believe was changed before the ban came down.

3 day ban for this is ridiculous jesus christ

good job mods yall the clowns on a thread about randy pitchfords game

Best OT title. In before its edited and watered down to a lesser experience that anyone could afford.

jokes are not allowed

Mods take a joke challenge

Oh come on, just warn him. A ban for a Randy Pitchford game, really?

what happen my boy doops

title had a joke "mod edit" in there referencing when Randy said true fans would find a way to pay $80

coulda just said "hey don't do that", but the ban is just dumb lol

Honestly, quite unreasonable to ban doops. over such a harmless joke. You could've just given them a warning, like: "Hey, please don't pretend to be staff, since that's a bannable offense."

Forums are already struggling to mantain users, and decisions like this just drive good people away. OP has been a solid contributor, and their past behavior should have been taken into account before making such a harsh call.

it's all about the sanctity and integrity of era moderation

highly respected institution

Thank god staff intervened and the nefarious OP was banned before they could scam anyone into paying them $80 for the privilege of posting in this thread via their deceitful title

Impersonating staff loool get your heads out of your asses

what's even funnier is some mod is gonna have to come in and "put their foot down" to get ppl to stop talking about that dumb ban lol

funnier thing is maybe if OP didnt report it to change the title nothing would happen
BUT GOTTA SHOW I HAVE BUTTONS

Oh this will happen, along a big ass banner yellow warning at the bottom not to poke fun at it but... that is genuinely an insane ban and I am dying on that hill. To the point it's bothering me more than it should.

Over a Randy Pitchford game too!

Mods just change it to a warning, it was a funny joke. Pls let's move on.

when I made a thread title that broke the formatting of EtcEra so ppl couldn't scroll properly i only got a warning

God alive, why on earth can't a joke ever be taken over a light hearted quip from a prominent member.

Way to utterly and pointlessly derail a thread.

Not like anyone was insulted and told to "eat my entire XXX" or anything.

we gotta get the mod jokes in now before even more fun is banned from the thread

🔒 Thread locked 'temporarily' while we deal with a high number of reports.

For real. Guy has put in the work for many great OTs and was just making a goofy joke.

Self-important bullshit ban. No one thought he was an actual mod or it was serious. What is even going on.

Unfortunately, reminds me of the picture:
No fun allowed.

Was surprised to come back to the thread and see Doops banned and thought they said something wierd later in the thread, but def gonna agree the 3 day ban is cringe. Not even because they're a 'respected member', just that it was obviously in jest and was referencing a thing that was actually said, so it wasn't even a lie.

For those that don't check the community feedback thread often, if there is a ban you disagree with your invited to report the post and lay out why it might be worth reconsidering. I did that. I don't think they want tons of people to do the same thing for one ban, but I figured it's worth sharing the process.

This place gets more and more "no fun allowed" and boring as time goes by.

I've unfortunately noticed the same...:(

A 3 day ban is a slap in the wrist. It is basically nothing. It's NBD.

The problem is that user bans are treated like a rap sheet and used against us if we get another ban, so even a minor one can change how a future ban is handled.

Mods so humourless they could be Borderlands writers.

They'll unban him but then threadban him

too funny for the borderlands thread 😔

Should have never been banned. They can issue warnings and, you know, actually talk with users.

open communication??

gross!

submit your tickets and be ignored

No they don't, they ghost your ass for the entire ban period and call it day.

Era continues to have the most embarrassingly ban happy staff on any forum known to man over the most benign shit

Did you guys know it's okay to have fun on the internet? It's a video game forum. Relax.

Meanwhile the thread stays completely derailed, when a simple unban and staff post saying "ban was hasty and now revoked, please stay on topic to avoid further moderation" would solve everything.

They don't ignore you always, just sometimes.

I was once banned for 3 weeks and like 5 weeks in I sent them an email letting them know, that way they could unban me. So they ignored but then didn't and fixed it for me lol.

but that would mean admitting a mistake
which clearly is something that never happened in resetera history. every time someone says perfection doesnt exist they should just look at resetera mods. thats perfection right there

Resetera moderation has never been wrong

It'd be hilarious if thanks to us whining and bitching the OP gets three months instead of three days

Hard choice between ignoring the grievances or ignoring the grievances but banning more people for metacommentary.

resetera moderation - the masters of shooting themselves in the foot

Site's so humourless nowadays you really could use AI to write your posts and nobody would be able to tell.

Anyway, In before the usual thread lock as they "review reports"

Mods, y'all are a joke sometimes. That should have been a warning and not a ban.

Jesus Christ mods, we're not even a couple of months away from discussing basically this in the Constructive Community thread, take a step back and get some perspective about this lol

they can't help themselves, and of course have now caused an even bigger derail than the original thread title.

Worst ban I've seen in this place lol

Don't be a bigot, don't be an asshole. Imagine if they showed this much energy for getting Microsoft banned. 

[Eric Cartman]

Regardless of your opinion of AI, using it as therapy is laughable.

Not true at all, I was recently discussing my understaning of pi, and proceeded to invent an entirely new field of temporal mathematics I have begun to call Chromoarithmics and I am assured that this a revolutionary new field of research that could result in everything from teleportation to anti gravity.

I have written to a number of major academic institutions outline my thesis, but none have as yet replied

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

I'd rather be 'yes, and'ed into a full psychotic break than have messofanego as a therapist

[benji]

No, you are gaslighting because you understand me perfectly but don’t want to admit it because is easy to you be above everyone else.

I literally do not understand at least half of the things you post. Sometimes I cannot even understand what you're objecting to in what you've quoted.

[Eric Cartman]

the dangers of a forum built around "well actually"-ing some other gay forums

everyone here is an annoying well actually cunt

[benji]

You still dont like it, and nobodies playing? Fuck you, we aint changing shit, $60 preorder for an online only multiplayer title

FACT CHECK: It was only $40, they knew people didn't want it.

[Taco Bell Tower]

The problem is that user bans are treated like a rap sheet and used against us if we get another ban, so even a minor one can change how a future ban is handled.

[Eric Cartman]

The modern "everyone should have a therapist" is something I disagree with. Seems like a marketing ploy to inflate their industry, tbh, and I'm only making that judgment based on what I see as the merits (or lack thereof) of casual therapy.

also in the realm of "don't talk to cops" they always say to demand to speak with "your" lawyer

does everyone here have a lawyer? is that something everyone just has lying around, and I'm missing out?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

[Eric Cartman]

Boredfrom you need to jerk off or something

Unfortunately we are well beyond that being a solution and now the only option left is gladiatorial combat.

winner gets to take on reigning champion echoesofwlwlwlwlwlwlwlw

[Eric Cartman]

You still dont like it, and nobodies playing? Fuck you, we aint changing shit, $60 preorder for an online only multiplayer title

FACT CHECK: It was only $40, they knew people didn't want it.

fuck you i aint changing shit

[Propagandhim]

Deadlock is an amazing game, the most fun multiplayer game I've played in the past 5-10 years.  It's got a layered economy, creative play with different builds, meaningful hero synergies, clear combat readability, maps that reward smart rotations and timing, really cool and sleek fucking hero designs and it takes risks by pushing genres together to make something unique and cool and fun.  It's addictive as hell.   It has real decision density, you choose when to push, when to scale, when to pivot to other objectives... and it respects player skill by giving you so many movement options.  It's an amazing game.  And it's not even out of invite-only yet.

I'll be honest, I've never played Concord, but I did spend a lot of time reading and watching criticism and from what I understand, it's a generic piece of shit.   Boilerplate abilities, thin map identity, and the standard hero-shooter beats without ultimates.  They should not be in the same conversation together.  This guy complaining that Valve buried Concord is like saying Square-Enix intentionally released a game to bury some RPG-Maker shit.

[Eric Cartman]

if deadlock is so fucking good why isnt it on playstation? huh? huh? huh?

[Uncle]

The modern "everyone should have a therapist" is something I disagree with. Seems like a marketing ploy to inflate their industry, tbh, and I'm only making that judgment based on what I see as the merits (or lack thereof) of casual therapy.

also in the realm of "don't talk to cops" they always say to demand to speak with "your" lawyer

does everyone here have a lawyer? is that something everyone just has lying around, and I'm missing out?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.

yes I know, I was more commenting on the propensity to refer to it like "ask for your lawyer" implying everyone already has one in mind, I've seen it termed that way fairly often

like ah yes the family lawyer, weathersby roquefield, a reliable chap, he sends fruit baskets to our family gatherings

[benji]

Concord was just a 5v5 shooter that had normal modes like Team Deathmatch, CTF, capturing points, kill confirmed, etc. on unspectacular maps. All the heroes were like others in other games. There were how many hero shooters that came out in the wake of Overwatch that were like this and came out before the trend ended? Even SunnyD can only wank about "aesthetics" without any explanation. Everybody else sounds like people who had only ever played Sony exclusives not realizing how many MP games were out there.